70% chance of snow for the last weekend of 2012. New Year’s Eve plans? Nets head coach suggestions? Indoor skate spot recommendations? Highest bidder for an unauthorized House of Vans key duplicate? Who’s excited for the new season of Girls? Previously:#s 25-21, 20-16, 15-11. Expect 5-1 on New Year’s Eve.
10. Lurker Lou Ruins Skateboarding
Skateboarders hate everything. It becomes more evident by the day, as the anonymity provided by Hella Clips comments supplants the Slap forum as the skateboard internet’s epicenter of negativity. But we won’t stand for that negativity in our reality shows! This past spring, Lurker Lou — who, looking at it as objectively as possible, didn’t “hate” *that* bad — spewed his bearded criticisms on a bunch of youngsters looking to “make it” via the “One in a Million” reality show fiasco. He hurt feelings, crushed dreams, snapped boards and ruined any fun there was to be had in riding a skateboard for the remainder of human existence, which unfortunately, did not end on December 21st. (No existence is better than existence on an earth with Lou.)
As overzealous YouTube commenters continue to lament the decline of skateboarding’s holiest week, they are losing sight of the real tragedy. Reality show antics and failed attempts at creating tension between a bunch of bushy-eyed youngsters looking to “make it” in skateboarding are secondary issues. The real thumbs down of the One in a Million legacy is Forrest Edwards quietly continuing his brilliant work in relative obscurity.
Below is a teaser for the Wild Power video, in which he tastefully interpolates the opening scene of the not-so-subtle red state favorite, and Oscar-winning film, Forrest Gump. Either we all have a superficial understanding of how the skateboarding industry works, or Forrest Edwards’ low-key position on the Toy Machine team is a colossal missed opportunity in playing to (and eventually monetizing) his status as a crowd favorite. It’s like if the Sacramento Kings benched Ron Artest for the entire season after the trade with the Pacers.
One is left to wonder: If the current crop of OIAM contestants received the chance to shine without high ollie contests and board set-up challenges obstructing their path, how much different would their post-OIAM fates have been, especially if Forrest Edwards continues to toil outside of skateboarding’s focal spotlight?
Thanks to Brian on Twitter for the tip. There’s no release date for Wild Power, but everyone is looking forward to it.