The Day Skateboarding’s Holiest Annual Tradition Was Corrupted

February 9th, 2012 | 1:18 pm | Daily News | 14 Comments

It’s interesting how quick the consensus on this year’s One in a Million changed. In less than a week, it went from “These kids are all boring, have no personality, and say ‘like’ a lot,” to “I can’t believe they eliminated my favorite skater in the whole thing! Slap is a joke! Lurker Lou sucks!” and a YouTube like v.s. dislike ratio typically reserved for J. Cassanova videos (shout out to RE1000.) In other words, “Damn there are no dickheads this year…I miss Forrest,” to “Lurker Lou is such a dickhead! I’m gonna go hit the thumbs down button on all his video parts!”

Knowing next to nothing about reality shows (shout out to Jersey City), it still wouldn’t be far-fetched to assume there are thousands of heated arguments on YouTube pages of America’s favorite reality stars getting axed too early or unfairly. It’d also be fair to assume most reality show producers judge the success of their shows based on how much people debate their outcomes. Go look at the YouTube page for the latest episode of OIAM to see how that’s turning out. Pretty sure its view count has been significantly bolstered by people returning to argue about stupid shit. Everyone debating the sanctity of a reality show sponsored by Mountain Dew needs to relax.

After you’ve taken a deep breath, and come to terms with the fact that skateboard reality shows and the fates of a dozen kids who got an all-expense-paid trip to New York and free product are not that serious, watch the clip below. It’s a bunch of street footage from some of the One in a Million kids, filmed mostly downtown. That kid Matt Militano, who’s life might be forever scarred because he was eliminated from One in a Million, has a lot of sick stuff. He skates a bit like Stefan Janoski, but with a weirder trick selection.

[ATTN: People afraid of sports, the clip below has actual skateboarding in it. Don't be dissuaded by the thumbnail.]

It’s edited to the sounds of Allan Houston’s game-winning play from the 1999 playoffs. With the Knicks on track to being the 8th seed this season, we could definitely go for a bit of history repeating itself. Now, we can talk about reality shows, or Jeremy Lin…Let’s focus on Jeremy Lin for now.

P.S. You should watch a Lurker Lou part before complaining on the internet about how he sucks at skating.

14 Comments

Comment by The Magnet Man
  • Real talk, if the kid can’t jump, the kids’ got to go.

    Bounce or get bounced.

    February 9, 2012 @ 3:53 pm
  • Comment by Wally
  • SLAP,

    How DARE you steal our idea for the next Berrics contest?

    I thought we had a deal.

    You do creative street skating, and we keep it indoors, nice, neat and antiseptic. I’m frankly disappointed.

    Having disposable, random, relatively arbitrary tasks was more our brand, SLAP!

    Tell ya what, The Berrics having much more traffic as a site than you, I’ll make you an offer: put the kid back in and keep what creative dreamers of a viewership you still have left, and we at The Berrics will continue to keep actual street footage to a minimum. Deal?

    - Steve “The Bearska” Berra

    February 9, 2012 @ 4:29 pm
  • Comment by Wally
  • P.S.

    Kudos on the CCS catalog product placement. What’s their number? We’re thinking of installing a high ollie bar here ourselves, actually.

    - Steve “The Bearska” Berra

    February 9, 2012 @ 4:32 pm
  • Comment by The Magnet Man
  • ^ kook.

    February 9, 2012 @ 5:50 pm
  • Comment by Matt milatano
  • OIAM ruined my life. I used to be flow for think, and i quit to do oiam. Lurker Lou really hurt my feelings.

    February 9, 2012 @ 6:17 pm
  • Comment by summah time swag
  • Tooks back tail made me yell!

    February 9, 2012 @ 7:40 pm
  • Comment by future
  • i smoke a box of blunts for breakfast…ay

    February 9, 2012 @ 9:12 pm
  • Comment by future
  • and i woke up like hugh hefner…ay

    February 9, 2012 @ 9:12 pm
  • Comment by greg
  • Yet again Quartersnacks is, like so cool and east coast.

    February 10, 2012 @ 5:16 pm
  • Comment by trustfunded hipster
  • i love qs i can relate

    February 10, 2012 @ 6:14 pm
  • Comment by british
  • I’ve watched some Lurke Lou parts and I thought: that’s it? I mean okay he has some tricks and stuff but beside his “fuck everyone who say I suck” and flipping the bird on the street to taxi drivers(or something like that) he’s nothing special. He hasn’t done tricks which made wanna rewind and watch it again, not to mention his style…

    February 11, 2012 @ 7:12 am
  • Comment by NYC NIGGA
  • Lurker Lou is a gimmick.

    February 11, 2012 @ 7:19 am
  • Comment by american
  • Lurker Lous better than yous.

    February 11, 2012 @ 12:06 pm
  • Comment by redtubedude
  • I sit at my computer and jerk off to girls. It seems everyone else just rubs it to matt and lou.

    February 11, 2012 @ 12:36 pm
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