Left Pocket Cheesecake, Right Pocket Sloppy

Photo by Uncle Leo

Here’s a trailer for J.P. Blair’s video, Outdated, which premiered at House of Vans this past Thursday. If you missed that premiere, NJ Skateshop in Hoboken is holding another one this Saturday (March 24th) at 8 P.M. Since it’s unlikely that this video will ever make it to DVD (Jersey Dave insists otherwise…we’ll see), did anyone happen to bootleg it?

Biebel: The new Steinbeck? Frozen in Carbonite digs deep into Brandon Biebel’s past, present, and inevitable future as a life coach. “If one sits down at a bar stool in Anywhere, USA, one needs to be able to discuss the Steelers running back situation and/or the latest 2 Chainz mixtape and/or the various implications of the NBA trade deadline.”

Stay scheming, fun with plywood, and abrupt endings — the new Krispy Du-Rag clip.

Contrary to some misinformation that we had a crucial role in spreading, Billy Lynch was never “missing,” but merely skating an underground bunker somewhere in Long Island and touching up on backside noseblunts.

Black Dave reminds you that he’s gonna shine, and that you should grind hard 100% on anything you do in this life. “Who filmed that video?” “I made my girl film that shit.” God bless him.

Sweet Paradise officially R.I.P. Thanks for the memories. (If anyone has the picture of Galen passed out in the back on his 24th birthday that wound up on the Arab Parrot, I’ll buy you a beer if you e-mail it to me.)

We went to Flushing this past Saturday to get as far away from the white people Source Awards A.K.A. St. Patrick’s Day as possible. Others went to Polish sections of Brooklyn to avoid the hell. Given their affiliations with “green,” the Green Diamond released an honorary clip of that dreadful day. Nothing like a classic by Pitbull to help you forget about the existence of St. Patrick’s Day.

Rihanna in skate clips = forever chill.

…and hopefully, this will brighten up your Monday. Tompkins and Slicky Boy .gifs will be a content priority for the remainder of 2012.

Quote of the Week: “Yo, I don’t understand something…how do these skateboard n*ggas dress mad bummy, but stay pulling bitches?” — Overheard Niketown Employee


Has any scientific research been done to verify that it’s not actually May outside?

Where were you during the poncho craze of ’84?

Nothing happens in August. There are even guides on how to look busy at work in August. The same applies for skate media. You’ll have to pardon some of the inclusions if they are not of the “breaking news” variety…

…and if you need something to do, please consult this MegaUpload link. It’s a 650MB .mpg file containing the first three FTC videos. Completely forgot that “Best Rap Song Ever” shortlist contender, “I Am I Be” has been used in a skate part before. (Quick links to relevant FTC New York sections: “Live From New York,” “Family Affair,” some guy named Keith Hufnagel.)

Vote for NJ Skateshop in Vans and Spitfire’s D.I.Y. spot/shop video contest. They’re the only east coast shop up there. And it’s the first skate video to channel narrative motifs from The Sopranos.

NYU: 0, Skateboarding: 1. Now a few more of those need to come off… (Related: Stop applying to NYU, and stop supporting hate crimes.)

Sick video of some Green Diamond affiliates doing noteworthy slappy crooked grinds and performing under-used maneuvers like frontside noseslides to fakie. “This is mad white…but also sick.” — Roctakon.

Eli Reed looking for a manual pad in New York in hopes of retaining his Manny Mania title. Best thing to be on The Berrics since the Mike Vallely Battle Commander.

Web comment of the Year, via the Hella Clips page for the official DQM/Girl/Lakai demo video.

Nolan Lee skating a sketchy-looking handicap ramp rail.

R.I.P. éS Footwear. Though not as heavily romanticized as the Koston 1s and 2s, the 3s were big in New York back in 2001-2002. In further influence, Menik Mati was pretty much the Jaws of skate videos, in that it provided the blueprint for blockbuster skate video productions for over ten years, a format that is only now beginning to wane. Here is Boil the Ocean on that same subject (#25.)

Quote of the Week:
45-Year-Old Man Wearing a Du-Rag: “Aren’t you too old to be skateboarding?
22-Year-Old Josh Velez: “Aren’t you too old to be wearing shants? There are pants and there are shorts. Pick one.

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