#TRENDWATCH2014: Tuesday

tues

In 2012, we, as an award-winning international media institution, came to terms with one, Aubrey Drake Graham. We also predicted — perhaps hastily — that skateboarders, as a whole, would take a moment to glance over from their “Lofi Memphis Rap Songs For Edits” iTunes playlist, and recognize that not being at terms with Drake was akin to denying global warming. Like taxes and YouTube ads, Drake is unavoidable. And if you let him, he just may put you better in touch with your emotions than your scratched up Lifestyles of the Poor and Dangerous CD-R ever could.

Skateboarders are a stubborn, conservative bunch. They did not come to terms with Drake in 2013, no matter how loudly we tried to sound the horn at the QS office. But that moment has come in 2014, in a rather unexpected way.

As discussed in last week’s retro of the 2009 “So You Want to Date a Skater?” article, 95% of partyboy skaters have been priced out of Manhattan. It is almost impossible to maintain a bohemian lifestyle, while still affording Manhattan rent, alcohol, and whatever extracurriculars might interest you in 2014. Former marquee days of the week, like Lit Wednesdays or Sway Sundays, are foggy memories left behind in the 2000s, when only a measly 90% of broke skateboarders couldn’t afford Manhattan.

With the majority of the New York-based skater population residing in Brooklyn, it should come as no surprise that the premier night for being a broke, drunken skater in 2014 is Tuesday, thanks to Matchless Two-For-One Tuesdays. Yes, TUESDAY.

Do you really think that Drake hopping on that Makonnen remix wasn’t calculated with us in mind? Drake loves skateboarders. He figured out the path to our hearts. “You’re right Drake, for me, the club and/or bar really does go up on a Tuesday.” He GETS us, and now, as evident by the droves of web clips emerging from the greater New York metropolitan area openly edited to “Tuesday,” we get him.

This is why refusing to come to terms with Drake is futile. It’s like giving the silent treatment to your one non-judgmental friend who will listen to you pour out all your problems. Fuck it girl, I’m bout whatever though.

Keep Reading »

Why Doesn’t OVO Just Buy Alien Workshop?

awsgodchrome

♬ Alien Workshop…if you let me in, here’s what I’ll do: I’ll take care of you… ♬

In Josh Kalis’ Epicly Later’d, Rob Dyrdek observes that despite Alien’s origins as an artsy company that forever changed skate video production with Memory Screen, it was still a collective of kids who loved hip-hop. “A product of the nineties,” he says. Knowing this, it’s tough to figure why Dyrdek, as brief C.E.O, further infused art (by way of Warhol, Haring et al’s estates) into the capsizing Workshop — particularly when its downfall came after a decade-long focus on guitar strumming tortured artist skaters not listening to rap, like, ever.

Do you think a single Alien Workshop employee listened to a rap song after Kalis’ Photosynthesis part was completed? Could hip-hop have saved AWS?

America has changed. Cities have gotten safer, so rap has changed, too. There’s no longer a need for the wooden bat with screws drilled through it that Lennie Kirk yanked out of Wu-Tang lyrics and brought to life. Rap’s reigning king is Canadian. And emotional. And soft. All of these things could comfortably be adapted into the “tortured artist skateboarder” archetype while still preserving 2014 hip-hop aesthetics.

ovo-owl-1

What is the “Take Care” video but an Alien Workshop montage with a bigger budget and a blonde-haired Rihanna rather than a lustrous Dylan Reider? Frozen in Carbonite even wrote a treatment that would update Alien Workshop’s subtle hip-hopisms into the 2010s alongside its artsier inclinations, but naturally, we cannot all expect to be such forward thinkers. And what better way to relive the glory days of Don Pendleton’s art direction than by pairing it with OVO’s similar fondness for owls?

It turns out that Alien’s parent company (the one that pulled the plug on the company as of two weeks ago) is traded on the Toronto stock exchange — this is all coming together a bit TOO perfectly…

The Los Angeles Clippers are reportedly going for $2 billion. Drake may be a half-dozen new age Bar Mitzvah anthems away from such a purchase, but a storied skateboard company with all the right pieces for an urban rebrand isn’t the worst (worst!) acquisition he could make right now, especially with the parent company trading at a measly 12¢ a share in his native Canadian dollar.

Rather than sending our #attermswithdrake interns to mull through the Slap message board for another pie chart of rumors, we had them whip up some quick ways to remix Alien’s most iconic designs with images of its (hopefully) next C.E.O.

mindcontrol3

Keep Reading »