With the knobbing of a plaza made up of ledges better than any ledge in a New York skatepark, we reached a new level of absurdity. Previously, tearing out a strip of ground in front of the Small Banks, installing chessboards to entice average citizens and failing miserably was the lowpoint. This spot’s demise more-or-less ended the days of skating Water Street for an entire afternoon, as there’s no longer a “great” spot on the east side of downtown. People now skate skateparks, former C-list spots like Gay Ledges, or went back to what they were doing before Seaport got built, which is skating flat at T.F. If there’s one consolation prize from this situation, it’s that all those overzealous security guards, who would angrily warn everyone of the day when the spot would be knobbed, got fired because there was nothing left for them to do.
70% chance of snow for the last weekend of 2012. New Year’s Eve plans? Nets head coach suggestions? Indoor skate spot recommendations? Highest bidder for an unauthorized House of Vans key duplicate? Who’s excited for the new season of Girls? Previously:#s 25-21, 20-16, 15-11. Expect 5-1 on New Year’s Eve.
10. Lurker Lou Ruins Skateboarding
Skateboarders hate everything. It becomes more evident by the day, as the anonymity provided by Hella Clips comments supplants the Slap forum as the skateboard internet’s epicenter of negativity. But we won’t stand for that negativity in our reality shows! This past spring, Lurker Lou — who, looking at it as objectively as possible, didn’t “hate” *that* bad — spewed his bearded criticisms on a bunch of youngsters looking to “make it” via the “One in a Million” reality show fiasco. He hurt feelings, crushed dreams, snapped boards and ruined any fun there was to be had in riding a skateboard for the remainder of human existence, which unfortunately, did not end on December 21st. (No existence is better than existence on an earth with Lou.)
15. The Average Completion-of-Construction-to-Knobbing Time Frame For New Skate Spots Reaches an Unprecedented Low
New York continues to have issues with underreported hate crimes. For the first time ever, the under-construction spots that we have been eyeing for months have begun coming with pre-installed knobs (cue up Rob Welsh’s Free Your Mind intro.) Consult the too-good-to-be-true “Late Show Ledges” on Broadway, and even bad spots like those marble blocks across from the Hilton on Sixth or those shitty wooden ledges at the hospital by the Banks for examples, all of which got knobbed within a month of blockades coming down.
Big news of the day: Google Maps is back for iPhones. Did anyone ever try going on a road trip with that Apple Maps app? It was horrible. Anyway, here is the second installment of our “Year in Review” series. Previously:#s 25-21.
20. Stuy Town Rail Becomes a Normal Spot
New York’s main contribution to the “skateboarding is beginning to look like rollerblading” theory (see: recent advancements in ledge dancing, 16-flat-16 handrails) was this rail’s transition into something people actually skated the whole way down. Before, it was only utilized for quick grind-to-pop-in tricks on the handicap ramp (Alex Olson does a feeble pop over on it in the Pretty Sweet bonus section) and near-death experiences for those attempting to slide the entire thing (Kerel Roach in the 2004 ABC video / maybe Remedy.) In the past year plus, Kevin Tierney boardslid it, Jonathan Ettman 5050ed it and some Australian will lipslide it next summer. (Sorry for all the parenthetical asides…)
The first installment of our yearly wrap-up series.
25. New York: Home of the Worst D.I.Y. Spot Ever Made
The New York D.I.Y. scene kicked off roughly ten years ago with the Greenpoint Volcano and has been growing ever since. Bondo barricades and Quikrete creations are sprouting up everywhere; the Swedish engineering at the B.Q.E. Lot and the Jersey City foundation stand as shining examples of more elaborate pursuits. However, the spot depicted above is perhaps the first obstacle (skater-made or not) to be so bad that even New York skateboarders, a group that absolutely *adores* shit spots, would disqualify as one. Most alarmingly, this appears to be part of a larger trend of horrendous and unnecessary concrete work in the city.