15. Luis Tolentino Skates on High Things
Though Aldrin Garcia may have set the new highest ollie record in 2011, Luis went his own route and created an alternate, more conceptual category: Highest Average Obstacle in a Skate Part. The average height of every object he skates on or over in his Everywhere We Go Part is estimated to be 40 inches, shattering any previous records (likely held by Darren Harper and Brandon Westgate) by at least half-a-foot. This new record has lead to a variety of bizarre theories from YouTube comments, most notably that Luis has a black person in each leg.
He also started off his part with a trick at a Waffle House, so that’s always a plus.
14. The Berrics Overcomes Its Heliophobia
It’s certainly an odd question, but ask any grown-up what their five favorite Berrics clips are (stop pretending like you’ve never been on the Berrics, nobody believes you.) Aside from the Mike Vallely Battle Commander, which was a transcendent moment for skateboarding altogether, the list will invariably look like this:
1. The Eli & Zered Off the Grid
2. The Brian Delatorre, Yaje & Kevin Coakley Off the Grid
3. The Ishod Wair Off the Grid
4. The Jack Sabback & Kevin Tierney Off the Grid
5. The Joey Pepper & Curtis Rapp Off the Grid
The main commonality between the five best things to ever be on the Berrics is that they were all filmed outside in New York (and Philly.) It’s good that after four years, the Berrics came to terms with its fear of the sun, and decided to leave the warehouse to get a tan from something besides epic lighting equipment.
13. J.P.’s Video Still Doesn’t Come Out
“J.P.’s Video” did not come out in 2011. It didn’t come out in 2010 either. In fact, every conversation you’ve had with the eternally optimistic Kevin Tierney in the past two years included the phrase, “Yo, J.P.’s video, next month” at some point. Brengar once said that the previous title-holder for most-delayed New York crew video, Rich Mahogany, “took longer to make than the Passion of Christ.” It’d be tough to come up with a similar comparison for this video. In 2012, look forward to Kevin telling you it’s coming out next month, every month. Whenever that happens, it’ll include an insane part from him, a part from Billy McFeely that’s likely filmed 50% underwater, a part from Yaje when he was still four feet tall, and a handful of other surprises.
12. Lil’ Wayne Starts Skateboarding
30 seems to be an odd age to begin skateboarding. Even if you buy Birdman’s lie that Wayne has permanently been 27 for the past six years, 27 is still pretty late, unless your idea of skateboarding has to do with Sector 9s and Birkenstocks. (Never too late for that.) Wayne picked up skating as an alternative way of “getting high,” since he cannot indulge in the drugs he loves so dearly while on probation. The most crucial effect from Wayne’s public love for skateboarding is that it instantly outdated ten years’ worth of things that hood kids would yell at skateboarders (“whiteboy!” “Tony Hawk!” “Lupe!” “Kick push!” etc.) Since the hood loves Lil’ Wayne, he shoved Tony Hawk and that rapper who raps about lasers out of the way to become the main spokesperson they associate with skating, thus leading to a drastic decrease in having stupid shit yelled at you whenever you skate uptown or in Brooklyn.
11. Chris Brown Starts Scootering
Lil’ Wayne’s skate career definitely inspired a lot of people to pick up an actual skateboard, if only for a month before they realize how much easier it is to play video games. Skateparks became crowded with people who didn’t know how to not get in the way, and “Yo, can you teach me how to kickflip?” requests remain at an all-time high. Luckily, given the overlap between his and C. Breeze’s young, impressionable fanbase, many of those that would have otherwise dropped $170 on a complete at Blades, decided to pick up their older brother’s scooter from 2001 and forget about skateboarding altogether. If you’re a bigger Wayne fan, you bought a board. If you’re a bigger C. Breeze fan (the QS office is much more fond of Chris Brown’s work, but we all began skating before this phenomenon came into play), you bought a scooter, and didn’t bother us for ollie lessons, but still probably got in the way at the Tribeca Park.
Bonus Mini Top 5 — Things To Look Forward To In 2012:
5. The Knicks winning a playoff game.
4. More rapper involvement in Street League. We’ll watch it if Gunplay is an announcer.
3. “J.P.’s video, next month.” Since that’s probably not happening: Kevin & B.D. footage in the R.B. Umali section of the new Transworld video.
2. Finding out what store is going to move in to replace the Tompkins Bodega.
1. Tru Religion’s inevitable entrance into skateboarding and the subsequent 2 Chainz-hosted mixtape that will accompany it.