An Interview With Lurker Lou

Lurker Lou ruined skateboarding. When he snapped Matt Militano’s board during Slap’s One in a Million show (not even first try!), he singlehandedly took away all the fun there was to be had in riding a skateboard. We sat down with Lou to discuss why he is so hell-bent on destroying skateboarding, and why he hates America’s children.


Where are you from, and how did you get into skating?

I’m from Cape Cod, Massachusetts. The actual town is Dennisport, which is a small town, kinda white trash, dead all year, crazy in the summertime. My dad used to own a liquor store, and it had a drive-thru, and all these kids used to skate in there. My older brother had two friends who skated, and they sold me a used board for super cheap, so I started going out with them. I was turning 11, and they were 16.

How’d you end up moving to New York?

That was all Zered.

When did you originally meet him?

I met him when I was in 8th grade, he was the talk of Cape Cod. I never got out of my town to skate much, but as I got older, I’d go to other towns and link up with different dudes to skate. I met Zered at a contest. He won, and I think I got 3rd place. He lived two towns away, and after that, I just started going to his skatepark. He got on Zoo, and they got him an apartment here with Billy [Rohan] and Brian Brown. I’d just crash on an air bed, then Billy got kicked off and I took over his room. As soon as I moved here, we started filming Vicious Cycle.

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Chris Nieratko interviews the judges, skaters, and producer from this year’s mess of a One in a Million series. What are skateboarders who spend an unhealthy amount of time typing YouTube comments going to complain about now? (Full QS interview with Lurker Lou coming this week or next at the latest. Weather has been nice, so transcribing/editing has been slow.)

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R.I.P. Os Dias Do Video, the internet’s leading destination for pirated skate videos.

Quote of the Week:

FOR THE 21.3% OF QS READERSHIP THAT FOLLOWS SPORTS: In commemoration of the regular NBA season ending this week, here are JaVale McGee’s top eight dumbest plays. The most entertaining player in the league, but not in a Derrick Rose sort of way. We’re eternally grateful that he got traded to a playoff team, because it means at least an extra week of this.


By some miracle of modern science, the Dunions now have a Tumblr: We have high hopes, but low expectations. Slicky Boy insists that he’s “getting his tricks back,” and returning to conquer the heelflip tailslide (obtaining a $38 reward) this spring. More history on the Dunions’ significance here.

Also in the realm of the strange, Palace collaborated with Umbro on some soccer “football” gear, and it came out looking really sick. It’s weird when you actually think to yourself “Damn, I want that Umbro shirt,” but unfortunately, it looks like availability will be limited to the UK. More info at i-D magazine.

CRAZY ILL THROWBACK OF THE WEEK, SON!: Josh Velez A.K.A. Josh Veledge in the 2006 Queens/Long Island-based $20 Off No Tax video. “We should go back to that low two-stair ledge in Staten Island one day.” “Helicopter up the two with Jordan 1s, fam.”

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Updates and things should pick back up this week.

The Day Skateboarding’s Holiest Annual Tradition Was Corrupted

It’s interesting how quick the consensus on this year’s One in a Million changed. In less than a week, it went from “These kids are all boring, have no personality, and say ‘like’ a lot,” to “I can’t believe they eliminated my favorite skater in the whole thing! Slap is a joke! Lurker Lou sucks!” and a YouTube like v.s. dislike ratio typically reserved for J. Cassanova videos (shout out to RE1000.) In other words, “Damn there are no dickheads this year…I miss Forrest,” to “Lurker Lou is such a dickhead! I’m gonna go hit the thumbs down button on all his video parts!”

Knowing next to nothing about reality shows (shout out to Jersey City), it still wouldn’t be far-fetched to assume there are thousands of heated arguments on YouTube pages of America’s favorite reality stars getting axed too early or unfairly. It’d also be fair to assume most reality show producers judge the success of their shows based on how much people debate their outcomes. Go look at the YouTube page for the latest episode of OIAM to see how that’s turning out. Pretty sure its view count has been significantly bolstered by people returning to argue about stupid shit. Everyone debating the sanctity of a reality show sponsored by Mountain Dew needs to relax.

After you’ve taken a deep breath, and come to terms with the fact that skateboard reality shows and the fates of a dozen kids who got an all-expense-paid trip to New York and free product are not that serious, watch the clip below. It’s a bunch of street footage from some of the One in a Million kids, filmed mostly downtown. That kid Matt Militano, who’s life might be forever scarred because he was eliminated from One in a Million, has a lot of sick stuff. He skates a bit like Stefan Janoski, but with a weirder trick selection.

[ATTN: People afraid of sports, the clip below has actual skateboarding in it. Don’t be dissuaded by the thumbnail.]

It’s edited to the sounds of Allan Houston’s game-winning play from the 1999 playoffs. With the Knicks on track to being the 8th seed this season, we could definitely go for a bit of history repeating itself. Now, we can talk about reality shows, or Jeremy Lin…Let’s focus on Jeremy Lin for now.

P.S. You should watch a Lurker Lou part before complaining on the internet about how he sucks at skating.

Tropical Storm Bloomberg Links

Well, that was fun. Bloomberg just might end up looking like the boy who cried wolf next time there’s a serious weather threat. In case you missed it, check out our post of 10 hurricanes better than Irene. That photo up top was stolen from The New York Times‘ Irene gallery.

It’s easy to imagine Kennedy Cantrell and Matt Militano being inevitable local favorites whenever the Slap One in a Million goes down in New York. Are they old enough to get into Le Bain is the real question though.

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Quote of the Week:Seinfeld is about life before cell phones.” — Matthew Mooney

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