What is a skate part but an open-ended solicitation for free stuff? The wandering eye of even our most hooked-up colleagues is always geared towards what else is out there. Tiago is only on Primitive until Apple starts a skate team; Jamie Foy would surely trade out that Red Bull hat for a Lamborghini one and not even have to switch animal allegiance.
Bob LaSalle is not a man yearning for free skate product. Having swept the Canadian Oscars in 2016 for his performance in “Pr*tentious S*lf F*llatio in the B*g Ap*le,” he was more than happy to take an early bow out of the spotlight to allow other aspiring Canadian athletes to earn their nominations.
But a skate part has to aspire to …something. Otherwise, what’s the point? Glory? Fun? A pat on the back from your idiot friend? That’s so… idk, fucking boring.
Bob’s return to the Canadian Oscars race did away with any subtlety. A week from 2021 is no time to tip-toe around asking for what you want. Rather than waiting to be noticed, like the polite skaters of yesteryear, Bob’s part went straight to source(s): McDonald’s, Carls Jr., Bank of America, Chase, Denny’s, KFC. No fast-food-financial-services conglomerate is left untapped. “I am here, and I want free gear.”
You’ve no-doubt ruthlessly spammed thousands of companies at once with your résumé in hopes of paying next month’s rent before. Skateboarding in 2021 will be a similar quest of never having to pay for anything ever again, including chalupas.