In 2012, we, as an award-winning international media institution, came to terms with one, Aubrey Drake Graham. We also predicted — perhaps hastily — that skateboarders, as a whole, would take a moment to glance over from their “Lofi Memphis Rap Songs For Edits” iTunes playlist, and recognize that not being at terms with Drake was akin to denying global warming. Like taxes and YouTube ads, Drake is unavoidable. And if you let him, he just may put you better in touch with your emotions than your scratched up Lifestyles of the Poor and Dangerous CD-R ever could.
Skateboarders are a stubborn, conservative bunch. They did not come to terms with Drake in 2013, no matter how loudly we tried to sound the horn at the QS office. But that moment has come in 2014, in a rather unexpected way.
As discussed in last week’s retro of the 2009 “So You Want to Date a Skater?” article, 95% of partyboy skaters have been priced out of Manhattan. It is almost impossible to maintain a bohemian lifestyle, while still affording Manhattan rent, alcohol, and whatever extracurriculars might interest you in 2014. Former marquee days of the week, like Lit Wednesdays or Sway Sundays, are foggy memories left behind in the 2000s, when only a measly 90% of broke skateboarders couldn’t afford Manhattan.
With the majority of the New York-based skater population residing in Brooklyn, it should come as no surprise that the premier night for being a broke, drunken skater in 2014 is Tuesday, thanks to Matchless Two-For-One Tuesdays. Yes, TUESDAY.
Do you really think that Drake hopping on that Makonnen remix wasn’t calculated with us in mind? Drake loves skateboarders. He figured out the path to our hearts. “You’re right Drake, for me, the club and/or bar really does go up on a Tuesday.” He GETS us, and now, as evident by the droves of web clips emerging from the greater New York metropolitan area openly edited to “Tuesday,” we get him.
This is why refusing to come to terms with Drake is futile. It’s like giving the silent treatment to your one non-judgmental friend who will listen to you pour out all your problems. Fuck it girl, I’m bout whatever though.
DEVELOPING: With Bobby Shmurda poised to win 2014 honors for “#1 Song of the Year That Us Caucasians Cannot Openly Enjoy In Public,” can we expect another M.N.M.F.T.B. part to drop by the year’s end a la last year?
Previously: Why Doesn’t OVO Just Buy Alien Workshop?