The 2012 ‘Summer Trip to New York’ Clip Cycle: A (Not Very) Statistical Study

We have been a keeping a close eye on 2012’s cycle of “Summer Trip to New York” montages. This skateboard web video tradition provides a refreshing view of how foreigners, not-yet-jaded by the availability of almost anything at any time, a 4 A.M. last call and an exorbitant cost-of-living, interpret the spaces that we have grown tired of doing 5050s on. In other words, they actually skate.

“Summer Trip to New York” clips are when we become less concerned with Austyn Gillette popping two feet out of a backside tailslide or Lucas Puig continuing to make his case for L.I.S.O.T.Y. (Low Impact Skater of the Year.) No, our focus shifts to the traveller’s dedication in finding the worst spot possible and the sweet diamond-plated song of New York’s many cellar door spots.

In the spirit of the past election, which was dominated by a mountain of statistical projections, and our recent immersion into the stats-laden world of fantasy basketball, we qualified all of these hallmarks into (sort of) tabular data. QS, in association with the Pew Research Center, Nate Silver, and the top secret market research department at the Berrics that administers focus groups for clips in an effort to more easily influence children into buying things from their webstore, present a breakdown of 2012’s “Summer Trip to New York” web clip cycle, tallied by #relevant New York signifier points. It’s not quite a count of how many big flips Pretty Sweet had, but it’s a start.

“NYC” — June 13, 2012

# of Wallies or Wallrides: 1
# of No Complys: 1
# Tricks of on Cellar Doors: 3
# of Slappys: 2
# of Courthouse Drop Appearances: 0
# of Front Shoves: 1
Art/Lifestyle Footage Percentage: 22%
Worst Spot in the Video: A truck bed = 6 on the “Shit Spot Scale” [SSS]
Point Total: 36

“DTCinNYC” — July 5, 2012

# of Wallies & Wallrides: 4
# of No Complys: 3
# Tricks of on Cellar Doors: 7
# of Slappys: 1
# of Courthouse Drop Appearances: 0
# of Front Shoves: 2
Art/Lifestyle Footage Percentage: 24.9%
Worst Spot in the Video: A Hyundai on Cinderblocks = 9.5 on SSS
*BONUS* Points For Including Footage of Ravers: 5
Point Total: 56.4

“Frisky Business in NYC” — July 29, 2012

# of Wallies & Wallrides: 6
# of No Complys: 1
# Tricks of on Cellar Doors: 0
# of Slappys: 3
# of Front Shoves: 1
# of Courthouse Drop Appearances: 3
Art/Lifestyle Footage Percentage: 29%
Worst Spot in the Video: 5050 at the ledge at Fish Gap = 4 on the SSS
Point Total: 47

“Venue Skateboards: Bust NYC” — September 20, 2012

# of Wallies or Wallrides: 0
# of No Complys: 1
# Tricks of on Cellar Doors: 6
# of Slappys: 1 + 1 bonus point because it’s a slappy crook on Lenox, so 2
# of Courthouse Drop Appearances: 0
# of Front Shoves: 0
Art/Lifestyle Footage Percentage: 41%
Worst Spot in the Video: A wooden bump-to-bar = 4 on the SSS
Point Total: 54 points

“DQM & Cliché – The Best of Both Worlds” — October 21, 2012

# of Wallies or Wallrides: 0!
# of No Complys: 1
# Tricks of on Cellar Doors: 0!
# of Slappys: 0! What’s going on?!?
# of Courthouse Drop Appearances: 2
# of Front Shoves: 1
Art/Lifestyle Footage Percentage: 35%
Worst Spot in the Video: A bump to hydrant = 2 on the SSS
*BONUS* Points For Footage of Keith Getting Sacked: 10 for each angle, so 20
Point Total: 61

“DOLPHIN DAYS #2 – NYC” — October 23, 2012

# of Wallies or Wallrides: 0
# of No Complys: 0
# Tricks of on Cellar Doors: 1
# of Slappys: 0
# of Courthouse Drop Appearances: 0
# of Front Shoves: 0
Art/Lifestyle Footage Percentage: 27%
Worst Spot in the Video: The kinked bench Dill skated in Mind Field = 5 on the SSS
*BONUS* Points For Including The Word “Hangover” in Video Description (hangovers are almost as crucial to skateboarding in New York as cellar doors): 3
Point Total: 36

“Escape From New York” — November 22, 2012

# of Wallies or Wallrides: 0
# of No Complys: 1
# Tricks of on Cellar Doors: 2
# of Slappys: 0
# of Courthouse Drop Appearances: 2
# of Front Shoves: 2
Art/Lifestyle Footage Percentage: 35%
Worst Spot in the Video: The Seaport barricade = 11 on the SSS because he faced the possibility of death for skating it. Such a gnarly trick.
Point Total: 53

“Skating With Jaden Smith” — October 19, 2012

“I have a lot of songs about girls and I have a lot of songs about skater dudes and the lifestyle.” — Hollllyyy shit. Quote of the decade?

Minutes Spent in Drop Crotch Zebra Print Capris: 5
# of Competent Pushes Taken: 0
# of Conversations With Old Guys Holding L*ngb**rds: 1
# of Times the Viewer Was Incited to Contemplate Hurting Himself/Others: 838
# of Mall Grabs: Only 1! There was definitely a consultant present.
# of Times It Was Obvious That They Got Denied From Filming at Supreme So They Went to Blades Instead: 1
# of Times One Was Lead To Think “Maybe Weezy isn’t all that bad by comparison:” 45
# of Times the “Skaters” Were Offended the “Filmers” Hadn’t Seen Twilight: 1
Point Total: 892

Celebrities should stop having children.