A [Not-At-All] Comprehensive Guide to Prominent Jewish Pro Skateboarders

August 23rd, 2012 | 10:53 am | Time Capsule | 19 Comments

Pages 1 & 2, Page 3

A few weeks ago, we discovered a song by Trill Entertainment affiliates Lil’ Mal and the late Lil’ Phat entitled “That’s My Ju.” After listening to it 400 times, our editors called a late-day meeting, vowing to work deep into the night on a series of storyboards for an “All Jewish Skateboarder Re-Edit” to this outstanding piece of ignorance. They were not even halfway done with their first pot of coffee before hitting a wall. There really aren’t that many Jewish pro skaters… Wait, are there any at all? As the “All Jewish ‘That’s My Ju’ Re-Edit” started to seem like a fleeting possibility, we desperately called for help in the social media realm, with few concrete findings that link people of Jewish origin to the world of professional skateboarding.

Frozen in Carbonite Instagrammed pictures of a ‘zine produced in 1993 that tackles this subject. The ranks have not changed much in twenty years. In fact, Jordan Richter converted to Islam, so the ‘zine’s headlining Jewish skater isn’t even Jewish anymore. Several Twitter sources suggested Mike York and Julien Stranger, and Danny Weiss might apply if he rode a skateboard for more than two hours each year, but Jewish representation remains strangely thin in pro skateboarding. Perhaps the two or three up-and-coming Jewish skateboarders could procure a Not Another Gentile Skateboard Video and allow us to edit the friends section to “That’s My Ju.” (A “HYFR” ender section is also an absolute-must.) They could even arrange a joint-premiere with Paulgar’s secretive Not Another Heterosexual Skateboard Video project.

Until then, enjoy “That’s My Ju” as a standalone song. Or suggest that your one Jewish friend who skates use it for a part. R.I.P. Lil’ Phat.

Normally, we’d shout out Amare Stoudemire right about now, but that dude lost a fight with a fire extinguisher, so screw him.

19 Comments

Comment by Anonymous
  • Jew-lian Heller

    August 23, 2012 @ 11:39 am
  • Comment by Stay True, Orange and Blue
  • Eric Bork retired from Santa Cruz to become a rabbi…or a Mormon missionary, one or the other.

    August 23, 2012 @ 1:28 pm
  • Comment by jew-lien stranger
  • http://www.facebook.com/KosherSkateboards
    there is even a jewish company haha

    but foreal: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hEKDtY3l2k

    August 23, 2012 @ 1:32 pm
  • Comment by AYO
  • my father is paid by jews

    August 23, 2012 @ 1:53 pm
  • Comment by Goldstein
  • Bout to drop a montage of the best Jewish skateboarders hailing from liminal region that is central new jersey

    August 23, 2012 @ 2:00 pm
  • Comment by aidskicksass
  • i dont know how you listen to that, i mean some trap shit makes for epic l routes, but regularly?
    they sound the exact same……..some super-reverbed spacey kind-of-bell sound, those superchopped hats, and that same drum pattern….reminds of how dance music is all the same and no one seems to fuckin notice!
    strayed from the jew talk my bad

    August 23, 2012 @ 2:05 pm
  • Comment by Gabe
  • Once, when I was maybe 11 or 12 and had just started skating, my mother drove me to the skate park. Some older guy was wearing an Independent shirt with the iron cross logo. My mother sat me down and said she didn’t like me skateboarding because there were neo-Nazis in the skate park (the iron cross was a symbol used by the Third Reich). I told her that Independent was a truck company that used the iron cross as a logo. She then went on about the inappropriateness use of anti-Semitic, once Nazi-related imagery to sell skateboard supplies. The overbearing Jewish mother is a stereotype for a reason. It’s probably why so few of us skate.

    August 23, 2012 @ 2:23 pm
  • Comment by wikipedia
  • The Iron Cross is a cross symbol typically in black with a white or silver outline that originated after 1219 when the Kingdom of Jerusalem granted the Teutonic Order the right to combine the Teutonic Black Cross placed above a silver Cross of Jerusalem.[1]

    August 23, 2012 @ 2:37 pm
  • Comment by wikipedia
  • The Iron Cross is the emblem of the Bundeswehr, the German armed forces, marked on armored vehicles and aircraft.

    August 23, 2012 @ 2:49 pm
  • Comment by wikipedia
  • In fact, first Wikipedia user, the line following the one you quote is:

    “The military decoration called the Iron Cross which existed in the Kingdom of Prussia, and later in the German Empire and Third Reich…”

    August 23, 2012 @ 2:52 pm
  • Comment by alex
  • Some article is TSM years ago mentioned something about Kevin Terpening being Jewish.

    August 23, 2012 @ 3:20 pm
  • Comment by tfbench
  • http://youtu.be/W7Nq9_Q4bck

    Ari shiffrin pro for brimley out in AZ. RIIIIIIIIPS

    August 23, 2012 @ 11:56 pm
  • Comment by sarge
  • Indy uses the “pallium”, not the iron cross. it’s completely different.

    August 24, 2012 @ 12:51 am
  • Comment by bronze age
  • a pallium is a garment that the pope wears, not the actual symbol on it @sarge

    August 24, 2012 @ 9:32 am
  • Comment by Bernstein
  • Robert Sunshine.

    August 24, 2012 @ 11:38 am
  • Comment by Recko
  • I’m still waiting for New York’s first Hasidic Jew Pro-Skater. The footage would look so insane, a set of curls flying down courthouse. One day…

    August 26, 2012 @ 10:19 am
  • Comment by Newman
  • Bobby puleo is a Jew do you see how many times he goes into the bank – Tim ororke

    August 26, 2012 @ 10:57 am
  • Comment by yadadadamean?
  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqjA3EsNFmQ
    used to be a real good skater in israel, now lives in NYC as a hassidic jew..

    Puleo hahah

    August 26, 2012 @ 11:40 am
  • Comment by Matzo Ball Bearings
  • Alex Midler…. Jewish

    May 31, 2014 @ 5:41 pm
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