A [Not-At-All] Comprehensive Guide to Prominent Jewish Pro Skateboarders

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A few weeks ago, we discovered a song by Trill Entertainment affiliates Lil’ Mal and the late Lil’ Phat entitled “That’s My Ju.” After listening to it 400 times, our editors called a late-day meeting, vowing to work deep into the night on a series of storyboards for an “All Jewish Skateboarder Re-Edit” to this outstanding piece of ignorance. They were not even halfway done with their first pot of coffee before hitting a wall. There really aren’t that many Jewish pro skaters… Wait, are there any at all? As the “All Jewish ‘That’s My Ju’ Re-Edit” started to seem like a fleeting possibility, we desperately called for help in the social media realm, with few concrete findings that link people of Jewish origin to the world of professional skateboarding.

Frozen in Carbonite Instagrammed pictures of a ‘zine produced in 1993 that tackles this subject. The ranks have not changed much in twenty years. In fact, Jordan Richter converted to Islam, so the ‘zine’s headlining Jewish skater isn’t even Jewish anymore. Several Twitter sources suggested Mike York and Julien Stranger, and Danny Weiss might apply if he rode a skateboard for more than two hours each year, but Jewish representation remains strangely thin in pro skateboarding. Perhaps the two or three up-and-coming Jewish skateboarders could procure a Not Another Gentile Skateboard Video and allow us to edit the friends section to “That’s My Ju.” (A “HYFR” ender section is also an absolute-must.) They could even arrange a joint-premiere with Paulgar’s secretive Not Another Heterosexual Skateboard Video project.

Until then, enjoy “That’s My Ju” as a standalone song. Or suggest that your one Jewish friend who skates use it for a part. R.I.P. Lil’ Phat.

Normally, we’d shout out Amare Stoudemire right about now, but that dude lost a fight with a fire extinguisher, so screw him.