The 30 Phattest Outfits in Skate Video History: 1992-2012

Happy fall fashion week. We hope that you are fashion-forward during these next several days, and wish you the best of luck in sparking a brief romance with a lonely stylist’s assistant before the week is out.

In honor of this most festive of weeks, we have compiled a somewhat comprehensive guide to the best gear from the past twenty years’ worth of skate videos. Skateboarding didn’t just begin “embracing fashion,” as some misinformed outfits have recently reported. Fashion has been stealing shit from skaters for years. (Luckily, they left Javier Nunez’s City Stars jeans alone.) Here’s the proof: All the jerseys, sweats, camo, braids, insane patches, sweater vests and swooshy pants that you could ever hope for. Yes, there are omissions. No, it isn’t in order. Thanks to Roctakon, Boss Bauer, Sweet Waste, Jack Sabback and Jason from Frozen in Carbonite for their contributions to this post.

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Easter Pink

How much did Melo’s game winning shot (and Rose and Deng’s missed free throws, for that matter) have to do with the legendary Frank Costanza sitting courtside yesterday? (Visible at 1:06 with his non-biological son.)

E.J. now has a dedicated website Tumblr for his photos at FuckYouEmilio.tumblr.com. A lot of Tompkins photos, some some cute lookbook shots, and this epic photo of unlikely caucasian favorite, Araabmuzik.

Phat Stylez came through with a mini retrospective on Aesthetics, easily one of the phattest skate brands of all time. Part 1, part 2. Watch Ryde of Die before you put on your bucket hat to go skateboarding today.

Late, but here’s the video for the New Orleans, Birmingham, and Atlanta portion of the Map Masquerade tour. New Orleans is easily one of the better-looking parts of America, and Suciu and Jake kill it. (Loosely Related: Here’s Jake backside noseblunting the rail-to-bank at St. Vincent’s.)

It’s good to see 12th & A / East Side Community High getting some good press about their involvement with skateboarding after the nonsense that caused 12th & A to get shut down late last year. (No, it’s still not open for public use.)

“What’s the history behind Palace?” “Took a gap decade after getting das boot from school, hit 27, had a mid-life (crisis) and decided to start a good skateboard company out of the UK.” The last Palace x Umbro link.

Our good friend, Adam Abada, made a homie-cam / iPhone clip chronicling this past mellow winter. It has no wallies in it.

Speaking of iPhones, some kid in China sold a kidney so he could buy one. A life with one kidney is better than a life without Instagram.

Have custom cut cruiser shapes gone too far? Jason Jesse made an AK-47 shaped cruiser. Unfortunately, it’s shaped like the gun, and not a skateboard silhouette of Russian forward for the Utah Jazz, Andrei Kirilenko, who wears #47.

While researching last week’s post about bulky skate shoes, this Donger Puma commercial came up. Here’s a play by play: He skates up to a set of stairs, opens a laptop, some chick pulls up in a convertible, she walks past him, he stares at her ass in leopard print pants, she turns around, they make long eye contact, she walks away, and he then decides he’s better off doing an ollie over her car. Oh, and Korn is playing in the background the entire time. Imagine that pitch meeting…

Quote of the Week: “What’s D7? The chicken wing spot?” — Tufty


Have a good week everyone.

SLOW NEWS WEEK

By some miracle of modern science, the Dunions now have a Tumblr: Dunions.tumblr.com. We have high hopes, but low expectations. Slicky Boy insists that he’s “getting his tricks back,” and returning to conquer the heelflip tailslide (obtaining a $38 reward) this spring. More history on the Dunions’ significance here.

Also in the realm of the strange, Palace collaborated with Umbro on some soccer “football” gear, and it came out looking really sick. It’s weird when you actually think to yourself “Damn, I want that Umbro shirt,” but unfortunately, it looks like availability will be limited to the UK. More info at i-D magazine.

CRAZY ILL THROWBACK OF THE WEEK, SON!: Josh Velez A.K.A. Josh Veledge in the 2006 Queens/Long Island-based $20 Off No Tax video. “We should go back to that low two-stair ledge in Staten Island one day.” “Helicopter up the two with Jordan 1s, fam.”

Most people stopped paying attention, but there’s some drunk skating and a crazy session down that awful Chinatown Park double-set in the new Slap One in a Million segment.

Sitting on a bench, profiling, and drinking iced coffee is one of the quintessential summer in New York skateboarding experiences, so you might be interested to know why cold coffee costs more than hot coffee (thus cutting into your summer alcohol budget.)

Recent happenings in the world of #stylez: 1) #phatmomz. 2) Should Arizona Iced Tea begin making more gear, it’d be an inevitable hit among the skate crowd. Arizona and 2 Bros. definitely haven’t maximized on their abundant merchandizing opportunities.

Spot Updates (but not really): 1) They built in-ground mini picnic tables at the old S-Gap on Water Street, but then surrounded it with rubber, so there’s actually no way to skate them. The dream is over. Think of what could have been! 2) Weekend hockey started back up at the T.F. They caution taped the benches off, and we all cried.

T-Bird made a mix to get you hyped before getting drunk. (Disclaimer: It has zero 2 Chainz appearances.)


Updates and things should pick back up this week.