2012 is just about a wrap. Have a happy and safe New Year’s. Previously: #s 25-21, 20-16, 15-11, 10-6 + 2012 Predictions, The Year in T.F. Obstacles.
5. New York Knobs a Skatepark
With the knobbing of a plaza made up of ledges better than any ledge in a New York skatepark, we reached a new level of absurdity. Previously, tearing out a strip of ground in front of the Small Banks, installing chessboards to entice average citizens and failing miserably was the lowpoint. This spot’s demise more-or-less ended the days of skating Water Street for an entire afternoon, as there’s no longer a “great” spot on the east side of downtown. People now skate skateparks, former C-list spots like Gay Ledges, or went back to what they were doing before Seaport got built, which is skating flat at T.F. If there’s one consolation prize from this situation, it’s that all those overzealous security guards, who would angrily warn everyone of the day when the spot would be knobbed, got fired because there was nothing left for them to do.
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I Do This #kickflip #TRAPGOD 10/17/2012
No one is sure how the #EVERYBODYSKATES movement started. The most common theory is that a young publicist observed just how “cool” skateboarding was making Lil’ Wayne look, and began recommending the “hobby” to one of his unfortunate clients. From there, it spread like wildfire, with nobody stopping to consider that it actually made all of these impressionable young rich bored celebrities look awful. (Imagine if a 30-year-old Wayne got into basketball instead of skating — his videos at skateparks would be the equivalent of watching him go 1-for-10 on lay-ups for two minutes. But somehow, if you’re a celebrity, being bad at skateboarding is still videoworthy.) As long as #EVERYBODYSKATES remains trending, we will be issuing reports on how well various celebz are pulling off their newfound love for skateboarding. Below is the fall edition.
1. Gucci Mane
They say that “hindsight is 20/20,” and as we come to terms with the terrible Gucci Mane for Rick Ross and 2 Chainz trade, a series of apologetic gestures to Radric Davis seem appropriate. The first should be taking his word that this “kickflip” in his barren kitchen was landed. (What’s with these fat, drug-cooking rappers having such empty kitchens?) Gucci’s entrance into skating would put him in the ranks of other beloved heavyset skateboarders like Fred Gall and Jabari Pendleton, and possibly pique the interest of fellow wild-face-tattoo-having personality, Antwuan Dixon, into sharing a comeback part.
It would also appear that LRG is his first sponsor. Rodrigo TX, Chico Brenes and Gucci Mane on the same team? Sounds great.
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