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A Complete List of the Skateboarders Allowed to Skate With Headphones

Daily News July 10th, 2014 · 3:38 pm · 18

thrasher message

A few weeks ago, the Thrasher Instagram posted the message above, receiving many #regrams and head nods before scrolling to the next pic of some rich girl on her first of five summer vacations. Skating around headphoned individuals, especially at a skatepark, is annoying, sure, but beyond being able to tell someone they’re in the way, is it really that bad? The “with other human beings” implies that there is some social component lost when you’re sharing the L.E.S Park with fifty tweens in headphones, aggressively rushing past you to try a crook flip out. The truth is, most of their brains have been rotted beyond repair ever since the release of Chief Keef’s first mixtape (see #16.) Headphones or not, they’re still going to be skating around with a thousand-yard stare mumbling “We Dem Boyz” under their breath.

Even so, there are always exceptions. Though the editors of Thrasher may consider themselves the end-all of skate etiquette and culture, it is insulting that they would assume their rule be applied to 100% of the skateboarders on planet earth. In turn, we compiled a comprehensive list of the skaters allowed to skate and film in headphones. (Note that Shorty’s era Muska does not apply. That was a nostalgic moment in history and The Muska has existed in many different, headphone-less incarnations since.)

1. Marcus McBride

Even skateboarding’s harshest fashion critics forgave Keenan Milton for crossdressing in 20 Shot Sequence (he controversially wore Adidas shoes with a Nike shirt), because, you know, it’s Keenan. By that same token, the editors of Thrasher and/or whoever runs their Instagram cannot possibly expect Marcus McBride, who spent maybe fifty-percent of his Parental Advisory part in iPod buds, to comply to their silly rule for the masses.

If every piece of documented skateboarding got erased from the earth, and skaters fell under the light of some Men in Black neuralyzer years down the line, Manolo’s five-minute Marcus McBride comp could serve as perhaps the greatest possible template for a civilization attempting to re-learn how to skateboard. If you have not done every plausible flip trick over the Pier 7 blocks or skated to “Bonnie & Shyne,” you should oblige by Thrasher‘s rule, but otherwise, the editors owe Marcus an apology for assuming they have any right to tell him what to do.

Honorable Mention: Andre Page.

dre ipod

Buds ‘n chainz

He’s pushing 40, and has one of the five highest ollies in New York that doesn’t belong to a Dominican from Queens. He is possibly the best living practitioner of the frontside shove-it currently residing in the five boroughs. Although skating with him while he blasts Uncle Murda into his ears gets annoying (“Yo Dre. Dre. Dre! DRE!!!!!!!!”), he’s 38 and can front shove a can standing up. He doesn’t have to “join the session.”

18 Comments

  2. We got Eva Mendez’s in Ohio too

    :(

    But then they get bought out by pacific vector and go to San Diego when the moneys all dry

    :(

    #believeland ? #golddiggerz ? #usher ?

  6. skateblog elitist, yes, in the best way..

    also for any future articles concerning exemplary flatground tricks, take into consideration Marcus’s nollie fs flip at :51. As I’m sure you noticed, its other-worldly.

  8. You see the problem with this “list” of exceptions is that these are the individuals from which whom the hordes of brain dead masses learned from. Come on Quartersnacks, up your game. Any form of skating with headphones is unacceptable. Dead the practice.

  9. ^^

    pretty sure this post is what they call a ‘joke’

    ya know, a ‘list’ with one person on it?

  11. Plus, I thought Marcus having footage/filming with “earbuds” was harsh. You could have a banging nollie flip or whatever, but if you’re rocking earbuds, your shit got an early dismissal.

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