Many know that “Closed For Renovations” is often code for “Closed Because the Landlord Raised the Rent to a Price Only a Multi-Million Dollar Chain Could Afford,” but Tompkins’ wishful thinking lead us to believe otherwise. The bodega across from Tompkins officially has a “Business For Sale” sign on its front window, after a month-and-a-half of leading its devout skateboard-riding consumer base to believe that it was merely undergoing a non-existant renovation.
So, we salute you, Avenue A Mini Mart, for most likely earning more money from skateboarders’ pockets than ABC and Autumn combined over the past ten years.
We salute you for selling quarter snacks when they were still a quarter, and allowing the expired ones with the old price tag to sit on your display late into 2004 when Little Debbie doubled the price.
We salute you for providing the sugar, tobacco, and alcohol that has inevitably heightened Tompkins’ collective risk for diabetes, lung cancer, and liver failure throughout these years.
We salute you for selling every thirteen-year-old living east of Avenue B his first vanilla Dutch, the same vanilla Dutch that would lead him to lose interest in skateboarding by age sixteen, and pursue a career in marijuana smoking.
We salute you for having every new flavor of Arizona the week it came out, for your rack of magazines that nobody ever bought, and for having the worst beer prices on the block.
We salute you for being there when the 4Loko craze popped off, and for holding on strong when the government took all the fun out of it.
We salute you for the tens of thousands of dollars in shoplifting losses that you have probably incurred in the past ten years at the hands of delinquent skateboarders.
And finally, we will never forget that time you let us slide when we were a few cents too short, or a few years too young.
Godspeed. (Details in this memoir may or may not have been exaggerated for narrative purposes.)
With Stuyvesant Grocery on 14th & A burned down, the closet-sized bodega that used to be across from ABC when it was on A long gone, and this place now closed, Avenue A is really headed towards an awful future. Only a matter of time before the Parks Department knobs Tompkins. Pictures jacked from EVGrieve.