Frozen in Carbonite Presents… Song of the Summer x Video Part of the Summer 2021: Da Return

Words by Frozen in Carbonite

Early this summer, Hulu released a Rick James documentary — a tour de force that I cannot recommend highly enough. In addition to the “trip the fuck out” moment of James being in a band with Neil Young, the film features a number of “reenactments” using 3D computer animation. These reenactments depict some really wild shit, including, yes, a coke-fueled orgy.

You know — what summer 2021 was supposed to have been!

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Frozen in Carbonite Presents — Song of the Summer x Video Part of the Summer 2019: Sponsored by Popeye’s

Words by Frozen in Carbonite

It was the best of chicken sandwiches; it was the worst of chicken sandwiches.

At press time, I have yet to experience the already-legendary Popeye’s chicken sandwich. The saga — almost Dickensian, if you will — continues. First, I called around to see which area franchises carried the sandwich to no avail. When I inquired as to when it would become available, they responded with some variation of “whenever the owner decides to sell the sandwich.”

I felt like a schlub, like I was calling around on a Jordan release date asking, “uhhhh when are y’all gettin’ a restock?” In the subsequent weeks, the sandwich has taken my area by storm, leading to football-field-long drive-thru lines and signs that flat-out say: “WE ARE OUT OF CHICKEN SANDWICHES.”

Like I said, the saga continues…

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Frozen in Carbonite Presents — Song of the Summer x Video Part of the Summer 2018: Global Warming Edition

Words by Frozen in Carbonite

Everyone has their own theory about the point in time when summer ends and winter begins: fantasy football draft night, college kids swarming back into town, the first rainy Sunday when you bust out your favorite sweatpants, when the first beanie appears at the skatepark. (Maybe that’s not the best example, dudes would still skate in beanies* if there was a ledge in, like, Death Valley or some shit.)

ANYWAY, in my neck of the woods, the end of summer was marked by a quaint event at my local bar — perhaps the least “woke” event such an establishment could conceivably host: a bikini contest. Sunday night. Labor Day Weekend.

Unlike that one bikini contest that Ronnie “The Limo Driver” Mund hosted, this particular contest only had five entrants. The emcee set it off with a mandatory disclaimer regarding the importance of respecting women and a stern warning that anyone who failed to follow these guidelines would be removed from the premises. Subsequently, he asked the contestants a series of typical pageant-type questions like “if you were a number, what number would you be,” to which the young lady responded with the most predictable answer in the universe.

Nevertheless, another contestant triumphed that night and took home $500.

Before that, however, these songs and parts fucking powered summer 2018 — notable for a higher than usual number of according-to-Hoyle full-length vids and a lower than usual level of “IS THE FULL-LENGTH VIDEO DEAD?!” prognosticating.

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Frozen in Carbonite Presents — Song of the Summer x Video Part of the Summer 2017: The Summer of Angst

Words by Frozen in Carbonite

I turned 40 this summer. Eschewing a crazy-ass party, trip or any other type of midlife crisis-type behavior, I kept it mellow and went out to my local™ bar. Street skating over forty is unknown territory, but if you manage to stay fit, there’s what I call the Reggie Miller Effect: one’s physique remains essentially static, but one’s capabilities — whether because of reflexes or vision deteriorating — decline exponentially. It’s all about managing expectations. 360 flips might flip slower than in the past, but maybe one adds backside nosegrind reverts on small ledges to the repertoire. Other summer activities function in a similar manner; one might not be able to make it to OVO Fest, but maybe one could chill at one of those tiny New York hotel pools with a bag of tequila taped to one’s thigh.

This #frame gives one hope heading into the fall A.K.A. skate season. Indeed, while this may be the first S.O.T.S. x V.P.O.T.S. post without a part from an according-to-Hoyle physical release, at press time, we were still digesting the 917 and Traffic vids, plus anticipating the release of Sabotage 5. So with an eye towards hoody season, let’s take a look back at the songs and video parts that fueled summer ’17.

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