Put all your dreams in skateboarding’s basket, and sometimes, they end up crushed. Years of blood spilled over video parts, knees hurting after being squished into tour vans, rent paid to share a three bedroom with five people — and all you have to show for it is a stack of warped boards that you never got a chance to skate.
Long story short: it is always wise to diversify your dream portfolio in case [for some strange reason] the whole “pro skater” thing doesn’t work out.
To be honest, I don’t know if Barnes ever wanted to be a pro skater. Maybe when he was 14 or something, I never really asked. But I do remember him being a staple in 5Boro videos for as long as I have known what 5Boro was. He was also a longstanding resident of the aughts’ most notorious brand-name skate house, Dobbin Block. Today, he is the closest thing we know to a deranged rich guy (see #16.) I’m not sure if he’s on the path to becoming a philanthropic sort of deranged rich guy who leaves the world a vastly better place than it was, or James Bond villain sort of deranged rich guy. And frankly, there’s a 50/50 shot for either outcome, and I’m cool with waiting in suspense until he arrives at one.
When he does, we — the skateboard family who watched Spike Jonze accept his Oscar with proud affirmation that he was one of “us” — can watch Barnes either save the world or destroy it, while telling our loved ones, “Oh yeah, that’s the guy who used to do all the crazy drop-ins in old 5Boro videos.”
Mostly filmed by Tombo. We ripped the rest from old Krudco videos.