Pretentious Self-Fellatio in the Big Apple — 2016 Edition

May 12th, 2016 | 12:35 pm | Daily News | No Comments

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Has New York truly become a skate scene that is first and foremost internationally scorned for unfair treatment of crustaceans — all because of one bad apple?

Three years ago, Canada’s leading skateboard thinktank released the seminal documentary short, “Pretentious Self-Fellatio in the Big Apple,” a gripping portrait of what it was like to exist as an #individual in New York’s fickle fashion elite. It arrived to praise for its realism and scorn for its honesty. But a lot has changed since 2013. Camo pants are *so* out, we’re out of KRS-One #deepcuts to get that #knowledge from, and it’s, like, literally ~IMPOSSIBLE~ to find cool stock footage of “the old New York” that eight other jerks haven’t spliced into their “Summer Trip to N.Y.” montage.

Now, we’re into slow-BPM house tunes, falling off rooftops, an apparent indecisiveness of whether to skitch or powerslide, and unfortunately, an irreparable worldwide reputation that makes the city’s skaters most unwelcome at the bottom of the sea.

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