Gonna have to take Krooked out…

Krooked released a psychedelia-inspired promo for this fall’s run of Zip Zingers, featuring many impressive feats that require the phrase, “ON A CRUISER BOARD!” to punctuate them (e.g. “He kickflipped a ten-foot fence…on a cruiser board!”) Though Quartersnacks may be miles away from Krooked on a talent level, we are a few steps ahead of them on a conceptual cruiser board level. This may have to do with the fact that cruiser boards are only second in marketshare to the Taxi Commission for post-midnight travel between nightlife beef establishments, and such voyages have left us with a more fashionably attuned eye for the development of such vehicles.

So, be on the lookout for a Quartersnacks cruiser board promo, sometime between 2012 and…2015. It will be filmed entirely on one of these:

What we may lack in skateboard skills, we will make up for with Wavy Mike cameos.

Snackman Cruiser FAQs

Will you be doing another run of these?

If it was a 50% chance back in March, it’s an 80% chance now. Probably for the springtime, because you know, spring is the best time to sell a device needed for transportation from Alcohol Venue A to Alcohol Venue B (to Alcohol Venue C.)

Will the board be bigger than 28 inches?

Most likely, just in case people with feet larger than size ten want to skate it. It makes a wonderful wall decoration though.

Will they be sold in actual stores? I can’t use Paypal because my bank account has been frozen by the government.

Yes, but probably not outside of New York.

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