Snack League

May 9th, 2011 | 2:38 pm | Daily News | 6 Comments

So, Waka Flocka released a video for “Lil’ Debbie.” The video and the song are disappointing from the perspective of this website, because the visuals / lyrics do little to live up to the title. In fact, the only mention of the snack cakes that the site is named after is “I get stupid cake, you can call me Lil’ Debbie.” One can only hope that a Lil’ Debbie diamond chain will eventually surface alongside the Fozzie bear one.

We are looking for a television network interested in adopting our idea for “Snack League” — a Tompkins Square Park based skateboard competition where New York’s greatest athletes (drunkenly) compete on three obstacles (a box, a trashcan, a yellow flatrail), with commentary from the nearby row of benches. The final round will be in the middle of the District Attorney office’s weekly softball game. Fuel TV, Fox Sports Net, ESPN, Turner Classic Movies, Oxygen Network, etc…you know where to find me.

With all due respect to Brandon Westgate, this website’s favorite skater with a proficiency for skating up things that go down and absurdly high obstacles is Luis Tolentino. Pause right before the pop on the last 5050, just to ballpark how high the ledge probably is.

The Gonz, Spike Jonze, and Bobby Worrest skating around downtown Manhattan.

Did you know there is a decent sidewalk bump across the street from 12th & A? (Technically on the 11th Street side.) Billy and Shawn Powers knew. They did some ninja stuff over it.

The black marble banks on 48th Street & Park Avenue (or what remained of them) are completely gone as of this weekend. Someone tell the city to give companies tax write-offs for donating marble to 12th & A instead of just hucking it into a dumpster.

Attention all broke skaters: Gray’s Papaya now serves dollar slices. Not only did they price themselves out of the “Broke Skater Diet” bracket once the “Recession Special” slowly rose from $2.45 to $5.00, but they sold out by offering pizza slices cheaper than their hot dog specialties. If the mafia controls cheese prices, thus contributing to the rise in cost of pizza, does it control the hot dog market too? Or do they just melt Polly-O string cheese on dollar slices, and circumvent the mafia entirely?

Not really sure if the Fish is still “relevant” in skateboarding, but the NYPD shut it down for “illegal sale of alcoholic beverages.” (That probably means it was open after 4 A.M.) Naturally, people started a petition to get it open again.

Quote of the Week:I went to see Paul Muni in Times Square and got blackout drunk…the only thing I remember is someone punching the Cookie Monster.” — Sweet Waste

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The Events That Defined New York City Skateboarding in 2010: 5-1

December 31st, 2010 | 5:52 pm | Features & Interviews | 16 Comments

Billy Rohan and Saddam Hussien

With about six hours left in 2010, here is the final set of five. Happy New Year, and thanks again to everyone who helped out spreading the word and contributing to Quartersnacks this past year. See you in 2011. #25-21, #20-16, #15-11, #10-6. So, like, what are you guys doing tonight?

5. Billy Rohan goes to Iraq

In a career that has been defined by insanity, Billy’s most absurd feat came not at a time when he was actually “crazy,” but when offered the chance to go to Iraq for the purpose of skateboarding. While there aren’t too many places that white people like Kenny Reed haven’t gone to with the intention of skateboarding, Billy one-upped the entire travel game this past summer by looking for spots in Saddam’s Palace. Leading travel consultants have since began booking tickets to Mogadishu (do planes go there?) in hopes of reviving the seemingly dead “white dude who likes to travel to places that you wouldn’t expect to find spots in but you find two or three and spend the rest of the time experimenting with exotic prostitutes” gimmick.

The Events That Defined New York City Skateboarding in 2010: 20-16

December 8th, 2010 | 3:32 pm | Features & Interviews | 14 Comments

Continuing on with the weekly installment of the list. Numbers 25 through 21 can be found here.

20. Autumn / Tylenol Bowl gets destroyed

The longstanding (by New York indoor skate fixture standards) Autumn Bowl saw its demise via bulldozer late this year, after a much-publicized effort to be sold to an enthusiastic enterprise with $20,000 on its hands and airlift transportation capabilities. For a significant portion of the decade, the Autumn Bowl served the city’s seemingly high concentration of transition skaters, or those who were sick and tired of looking for metal scraps in Brooklyn to channel their artistic tendencies with a skateboard. It was also responsible for many frostbite cases within New York, as it victimized all those who chose not to follow the plywood-suggested navigational moat that ran alongside the frozen swamp at the entrance.