‘They Knobbed the Flat’

June 21st, 2016 | 12:25 pm | Daily News | 5 Comments

tf gramercy

It has long been a speculative topic among the Quartersnacks lunchroom — how widespread is our readership throughout the New York City Global International Party Park Headquarters Office HQ? Do they read up on feedback as to how well their latest skate deterrents are deterring? Do they check QS for tips to inspire their latest rout of hate crime and fun-crushing? Or are they all simply traitorous masochists who love to see non-caged skateboarding fail, kind of how at least 20% of the 12 Oz Prophet forum probably works in law enforcement, or how the turncoat who invented knobs and sold them to Republicans was actually once a skateboard rider?

Now we know, and boy, do they have a sense of humor!

In perhaps the largest act of “really?” in skate deterrent history, the New York City Parkological Society flattened the two smudges in the ground that Max Palmer, Dick Rizzo, Vincent Touzery, et al. mistook for “bumps” last calendar year. What else is there to do but sit back in awe, and admire the utter insanity? Even the absolute vodka worst spot in New York City is not safe from the wrath of liability-weary meanies who sport a leaf on their uniforms — even though deep down inside, they loathe the sun and all the glorious creatures that celebrate life below its beams.

BUT, as we all know is well and true according to the digital Gospel of Jeffrey, “when you die, somebody else is born” — or in this case, REBORN, and we’re living in liberated Pyramid Ledge society for the first time since 2010. Thanks Obama.

Here’s an outtake that got scrapped from the Quartersnacks book, which runs down all the finest achievements at Pyramid. Might be useful as a crash course for anyone looking to add to its storied history before the inevitable happens again.

pyramid ledges tricks

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