Quartersnacks Celebrates the Decade: Volume 4

December 23rd, 2009 | 2:15 pm | Features & Interviews | 14 Comments


Running right along…

A Formal Inquiry Into a Certain Floridian’s Ability to Sustain Immense Physical Hardships on a Skateboard

June 12th, 2009 | 4:34 am | Features & Interviews | 11 Comments


It is is 4:17 a.m. and I just recently finished watching the Green Diamond video for the first time (skate shop screenings not counting), and I feel a certain inquiry must be made…

Does anyone know how Kyle Iles takes falls like he does when he is over the age of fourteen? It seems to me that any other individual that has lived an excess of fourteen years would be either hospitalized or spontaneously combust in the event of such falls as presented in this video document being sold now at Autumn, KCDC and Supreme for $10 USD. Does he take vitamins? Eat right? Get a lot of sleep? Acupuncture classes? Drugs? Seriously, what is it? I do not think it is possible for someone in that above-fourteen age bracket to sustain such mishaps without the assistance of some sort of external agent.

Perhaps Kyle smokes PCP. Like the famous scene in The Terminator (the 1984 version, not that piece of shit that they released in theaters a few weeks ago), when a police officer alludes to the possibility of Arnold’s character being on such a substance after punching through a car window and walking away unscathed, it appears quite possible that a similar dynamic is at work here. Skateboarding for fun is one thing. But it seems that valiant efforts at filming really good tricks, like this part seems to be doing, much too commonly fall on deaf ears (or blind eyes), since the target audience for skate videos nowadays has slowly become closet homosexual skateboarders (who only pretend to actually do things on their boards) interested in scrutinizing every possible nuance of someone’s outfit instead of actually appreciating the death-defying feats that the said individual poured his heart and sanity into, rendering efforts at good skateboarding and the target audience a rather mismatched pair. Yet, there is always the possibility that Kyle enjoys falling, or that he is some sort of robotic machine sent from the future. Or it could be an illegal substance helping him live through the trials an tribulations of filming a beyond excellent video part, namely in the realm of a black-dust narcotic substance. Or vitamins. Or the almighty Creator might just have a particular preference for Kyle’s brand of skateboarding and he frequently engages in dialogue with the Lord before and after sessions.

So, to return to my initial point… is there any diet restructuring or yoga classes that everyone else can take to enable sustaining such immense physical hardships when trying tricks on skateboards? Usually, when I fall, my life flashes before my eyes, after which I go home and go to sleep. Is there any way to avoid this?

Speak Ya Clout

October 19th, 2007 | 3:24 pm | Features & Interviews | 3 Comments

Here’s a write-up and some photos from the premiere last night of Static III and The Chapman Video. Nike premiere tonight. (90 minutes long, boooooooo).

Chokin’ Off a Whole Pound of Purple, Famous Like the Ninja Turtles

July 1st, 2007 | 12:59 pm | Daily News | 34 Comments

Here’s a bunch of junk that went on the internet recently. Shoulders, chest, pants, shoes..

Big Apple Rape recently put up a new throwaway clip. I can’t really co-sign anything using the musings of the corniest dude in music right now (also known as “the [self-proclaimed] best rapper alive”), but the skating more than makes up for including the music of a dude who has said “I’ve done kissed Juvenile and B.G…no homo.” (That’s word for word.)

The real Static III trailer is out. When is this dude going to realize that there’s other rap music out there besides Jeru? Regardless, Static II was the last certified classic video in my book, I can’t really see this one falling short of that title by the looks of the trailer.

Cuts Out of Florida is the first regional video to keep my attention for it’s entire duration in a long time. Pretty soon all of you need to realize that all the inside jokes you include in your two-minute long intros only matter to the people involved in the video, everyone else watching it just gets annoyed. COOF spares the nonsense and gets right into the skating, which is something rare these days, although certainly appreciated.

Matt Mooney was kicked off of Starks Laces and replaced with everyone’s favorite former #91 on the Bulls.

Go Skateboarding Day 2007 photos.

The Es Game of Skate is on July 24th this year at Tompkins. I got my $$$ on Bradley.

Quote of the Year:
White Man #1: “Wasn’t there a guy named Jim Morrisey?
White Man #2: “No, that was Jim Morrison.
Mooney: “Yeah, that’s the guy that invented The Muppets.

Shoulders, chest, pants, shoes..