You’re a minor celebrity, if you come on the tour, it might create a minor stir

Either the History Channel’s market research indicates that no Young Jeezy fans watch Gangland, or they have a really strict, no exceptions eye-censoring policy.

Lunchtime links.

This year’s Halloween Hellraiser is on Saturday, October 30th, from 11 AM to 4 PM at the school rooftop on 350 Grand Street (corner of Grand & Essex.) $3,000 best trick contest, $100 for the best costume. Click here for the flyer. You can watch the promo video for the course over on the Acapulco Gold site. That “Monster” song is probably going to be second to only “Thriller” for most appearances on Halloween playlists/sets this year. Kanye is still corny, but he’s profoundly good at marketing things. He also knows people are into hearing impressions of Foxy Brown doing a Jamaican impression.

Goin’ Ham is a video from the squad that brought you Film Me earlier this year. Features new, full parts from Ray Macken, Nate Rojas, and Stephan Martinez. You can watch the video-art-inclined teaser here. Premiering online on Monday, November 1st. Two Stephan parts in one year definitely isn’t a bad thing.

Found this circa-2007 piece of QS memorabilia of Marquez skating over some drunk girl in the back of the old Union Square. R.I.P. to the old back of Union Square, by the way. You’re sorely missed.

This dude wears clear contacts, sags his pants, slaps hoes, has a pretty solid kickflip, and can actually hardflip. He’s no Eddie Rap life, but might be one out of three rappers who can kickflip.

Spotted this quick daily log clip over at NY Skateboarding. Nothing too intense in the realm of skating, but a fun dailies clip set to some Charles Mingus that quietly reminds us of the sort of days spent skating that are bound to become all the more infrequent as the temperature starts to decline.

Habitat’s Origin video is now available on iTunes for $9.99 (the link will open in iTunes, not your browser.) It has a Fred Gall part. Any video with a Fred Gall part is worth your ten bucks. QS review here.

Saving the best for last: KYLE ILES: THE LOST HIP-HOP TAPES. An internet event like no other. Even after his magnificent Rich Mahogany part, which potentially left him depleted of physical energy, and currently hiding out at the McCarren skatepark, this earlier version of his skateboard feats, complete with Earl Simmons on the vocals, may be his finest work to date. It’s a shame that it has remained away from society, in a safe deposit box on Park Avenue for all these years.

Thanks to anyone and everyone who showed love with blog links or on Twitter this past week: Platinum Seagulls, IMNOTATOY, 40 Oz. Van, 48 Blocks, and NY Skateboarding.

Quote of the Week: Inquisitive Gentleman: “Can you play rap if you DJ in France?
DJ Roctakon: “No, the only rap song you can play is ‘Empire State of Mind.’

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Manny Mania Qualifiers in Hoboken on Saturday

Red Bull Manny Mania qualifiers are being held at the Hoboken Skatepark on this Saturday (June 26.) No qualifiers are being held in New York, so it’s really the only option if you’re coming from the city. You will need to register beforehand by calling the Hoboken NJ Skateshop location at (201) 792-2397.

The skatepark is located on the waterfront, running alongside Frank Sinatra Drive. Take the B, D, F, V, N, R, Q or W to 34th Street (or the A, C, E to World Trade Center) and then transfer onto a Path train heading to Hoboken. Walk out of the station, skate towards the water, and follow the promenade heading northwards for about ten blocks. Driving in is pretty much the dumbest idea ever, that is, if you know anything about finding parking in Hoboken on a weekend (or any day, for that matter.) Don’t even bother unless you’re showing up at like five in the morning.

Additional information on the event here

Highlights from last year’s finals embedded after the jump.

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The Big Maloof Weekend: A Complied QS List of FAQs

The Comprehensive Over-18 / Not-Making-a-Living-Off-Skateboarding Guide to Maloof

Should I go to Maloof this weekend?

Unless you are making a living off skateboarding, are interested in acquiring your favorite pro’s autograph, or trying to be among the hordes of small-businessmen trying to promote their company via stickers and portable skateshops (a la Mike Wright), there is no reason to go to Maloof. Also considering there are signs all over the bleachers saying “Tickets do not guarantee seating,” you better get there super early if you are.

What do you think Little Alex will be wearing?

Preliminary reports indicate that he has been experimenting with the adoption of Michael Gigliotti’s progressive summer attire, therefore, most bookies are making odds lean in favor of a tucked-in wifebeater / blue jeans combo. You stand to win a lot of money from your local bookie if you happen to bet against this outfit.

Seeing as how that course was essentially traded off for the Unisphere fountain, how did the overall construction turn out?

The “inspirations” behind the obstacles in the park seem to have taken significant liberties with re-creations of prominent obstacles. For instance, in all my years of passing Black Hubba, I never noticed that it was square, and didn’t have a kink at the end, nor did I notice that the Pyramid Ledges were shaped like the Volcolm logo and had a bank running down the side. It could be problematic for the ravers-who-own-skateboards living under the Men in Black Towers and throughout Forrest Hills, in that the development of this park will inevitably propel their abilities on a skateboard beyond levels of normal comprehension. But they will be so accustomed to skating the Maloof-ized version of the Black Hubba, that if God forbid they happen to venture outside of the park, they will be greeted with a rude awakening in terms of the utter lack of perfection that exists in the real world.

Think of the Maloof park as the Matrix. The Queens ravers-who-own-skateboards contingent will ultimately be submissive to the virtual representation of skateboarding via the Maloof Matrix. Once they are unplugged / they take the red pill (i.e. they get on the 7 train and take it to a skate spot), the integral realities of the modern skate world will be unbearable to the conception of skateboarding that they had grown accustomed to within the Maloof Matrix, because they will realize that “real” skateboarding involves cracks, metal spikes, and security guards. The result will be a wave of mass death via heart-attacks at age seventeen from devouring too many E pills and cans of Sparks simultaneously.

Dude, you’re the worst. It’s a fucking park, dude, and it’s sick. Stop acting like a fucking idiot and just skate it, and stop trying to be so fucking cool, man. Don’t you have anything good to say about it?

I commend the fact that the park designers put a curb eight feet before the smaller hubba ledge, and the Union-inspired rail. Almost as if the virtual manifestation of skateboarding was giving a nod to its integral counterpart by adding an otherwise non-sensical thing that’s going to piss people off. It literally serves no purpose beyond making it harder to skate those two obstacles, and that’s great.

The union rails actually do look like the real thing, but it would have been way funnier to leave the knobs on them. If Gangemi could boardslide through them, I’m sure Lizard King could noseblunt it or something.

What is the most glaring omission from the Maloof Park?

The fact that alcoholism was not included in the overall concept for the park is downright offensive. It is as much, if not more, of a crucial core to New York skateboarding than any of the skate spots that were supposedly the models behind the course selections. Including the Fish, Enid’s or Lit to the course would added to the park’s overall authenticity, and give it a much more profound air of completion in its purported claim of simulating New York skateboarding. I’m not sure if Budweiser or Heineken advertise on the Fuse channel, but a great companion piece to the contest would be conducting it while all entrants are intoxicated, and offer twice as much money to the winner. New York skateboarding would not be what it is today without the three aforementioned establishments, and a select few other similar, although less prominent locations. The fact that some bank-to-bank on Amsterdam Avenue (that literally one person has probably skated) is accounted for in the course design, and the Fish was left out is completely unforgivable.

Any other obstacles that should have been included that don’t necessarily involve alcohol?

The Long Island Expressway Hill, complete with circulating cars and trucks, in addition to a true-to-size version of the Courthouse Drop would have been welcome additions to the park. Getting hit by cars / olling onto cabs is almost as New York as drinking, so they are on the second tier of outrage-inducing omissions. The Taxi Commission should have been consulted for lending the park an authentic New York air. It also wouldn’t hurt to coat the entire park with Chinatown-on-garbage-day-in-August sludge to compliment the visual presentation with an authentic New York-ish fragrance.

So what happens when I wake up hung over and still want to see what Greg Lutzka, P-Rod, or some other jerk did to win the money over a bunch of other non-contest-skaters-that-are-otherwise-much-better-skaters-overall?

Turn on the Fuse channel, or just wait for the Skateboard Mag wrap-up clips later in the day.