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It turns out that the Slap message boards have a purpose beyond gauging imminent skate nerd critical darlings / recipients of “Why isn’t he properly hooked up yet?!” inquiries. Slap, despite its many faults, is the internet’s leading destination for all things pertaining to Forrest Edwards. (Why isn’t he properly hooked up yet?!)

Amidst searching for a link to Edwards’ new video part (it got deleted), there was another thread with a photo of him back lipping a nine-stair handrail while holding a Little Caesar’s box. It looks like Little Caesar’s has done what many actual skate companies have been hesitant to do, and inked a long-term endorsement deal with one of skateboarding’s few genuine characters. If the prime Russell Stover product placement in the teaser for his new part is any indication of a future business relationship, then Edwards may already be two steps ahead of the entire skate industry.

In the same thread, someone posted a similar photograph of Eric Koston from over ten years ago. Given energy drink companies’ monstrous (right?) involvement with skateboarding these days, it’s odd that pizza chains haven’t approached more skaters with sponsorship opportunities. Based on a large sample size of acquaintances, pizza makes a more frequent appearances in all of our day-to-day skateboard activities than energy drinks, which are typically only useful for 3 A.M. drives on road trips. (“I’d drink a tall can of Monster and get through at least three states, easy.” — Marquez.) Dominoes, Pizza Hut, Little Caesar’s, Papa John’s, high-end spots like Grimaldi’s, and even Two Bros are missing out on a bountiful pool of endorsements.

Below is a diagram of pizza giants, and their projected corresponding skate industry equivalents.

Are there pizza chains in the U.K. or Europe? Was Googling around to find an equivalent for Blueprint and Cliché, but couldn’t find any real answers.

New York is the capital of wearing dumb tweed shit and trendy denim jackets while standing on a cobblestone street in hopes of ending up on a fashion blog. So, we all knew this was inevitable: A skate-themed Sartorialist spinoff blog called The Skartorialist. It goes without saying that Phat Stylez is way tighter.

Joe Cups, the man behind the Lurkers series, re-uploaded his mini-video She’s Lost Control / Ghost Dance to Vimeo. It’s a bit artsy, but there are a bunch of olden day Tompkins artifacts in it.

Hey, remember when Maxi Pads used skateboarding in an ad?

The crew from Familia Skate Shop in Minneapolis (who brought you Flow Trash) is dropping another video entitled Debris. Teaser here.

New spring clip from the After Midnight crew. Any line with a flip-in trick at those East River benches on 37th Street is impressive. Those have at least 10 things wrong with them. Features QS favorites, Akira Mowatt, Geo Moya, and Rob Campbell.

Some of you guys really need to stop smoking marijuana, and reading the forewords to art theory books. Spotted here.

Spot Updates: 1) You can skate Penn Plaza again. They removed all the junk from in front of the manual pad. 2) Although it’s a minor spot, the three-stair then flat off Sutton had its runway blocked off with an outdoor seating area for the adjacent restaurant. It’s on the way to that downhill ledge against a fence, which also sucks. Spots that suck are mad popular right now.

INCREDIBLE YOUTUBE FIND: First off, thank you Skate.ly, for being the best skateboarding website on the internet. They uploaded an old War Effort commercial that feature Andre Page doing a 180 up, switch frontside flip down over the Pulaski Park ledge over three gap, and a ramp-to-ramp 360 flip at the old Casino Skatepark.

New QS re-edit coming soon. Pretty good chance that it’s an Osiris Storm re-edit with 3x more paintball footage. (Not really.)

Fred Gall sits down with the crew at Brick Harbor and explains why he’s going sober. Seeing a transvestite beat up three dudes in Brooklyn central bookings is enough to sober anyone up. Freddy is also now on Twitter. Follow @DirtsWin. On that note…

Quote of the Week:

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Shout out to Kevin Durant for officially ending the “Kobe era” of the NBA on Saturday night. All he needs to do now is keep the Spurs out of the Finals, so they’re actually fun to watch.

You’ll have to pardon this rare Saturday update and it being 19 hours late (!!!), because we took yesterday off to skate and look cute.

It’d be safe to assume that any company removing Jake Johnson and Alex Olson from its pro ranks is disinterested in producing a great skate video, even if some considerable talent remains on its roster. (Since we’re all Pacers fans for the next week: Imagine Indiana waiving Hibbert and Granger at the trade deadline for no apparent reason.) Though the mythical “Quiksilver video,” which was a heavily discussed topic on the Tompkins bench this time last year, may never come out, its would-be creator released much of the footage that would have ended up in it anyway. It even includes the aforementioned names no longer on Quiksilver payroll.

The full-on video project looks like it got deaded, but this combined with the Strobeck section in last month’s Transworld video is a decent enough consolation prize. Naturally, it includes a recurring preoccupation with hair via picture-in-picture. It wouldn’t be a Strobeck clip if there wasn’t some weird shit going on…

UPDATE: There’s now an official Quiksilver version of the clip. In color, and without all the extra stuff going on in the top left corner. Doesn’t feature Olson or Jake though…

Our good friend Aaron Szott recently moved to Mongolia (yes, Mongolia) for a job opportunity (he knows a lot about economics and stuff.) Taking inspiration from the guy who tracked down and put together the 44 seconds of known Ryan Hickey footage, we compiled all the random bits and pieces of Aaron’s footage from the past decade, and edited them to the sounds of his favorite rapper. It turns out that Aaron’s skateboarding has a cult following well beyond QS, and even on the internet’s most cynical corners. (No clue who “django whinehard” is on Slap, but he is incorrect in saying we have new Aaron footage to release. Last time he was here, we mostly skated Tompkins and talked about Max B.)

Here are a few clips taken from old QS videos, Jay Maldonado’s La Luz video, the first Traffic video, Lurkers 2, and issues of E.S.T.

Good luck out there, buddy.

(Stuyvesant Grocery BGPs. R.I.P.)

P.S. There are still jobs out there, current college students! You may just need to re-locate to Mongolia.

This post is dedicated to everyone who took time out of their day to debate the top 10 partyboy skaters, as curated by Matt Mooney. Please take into account Mooney’s insistence of a similarity between our favorite late Marbury-era Knicks refugee (shout out to Jamal Crawford and Al Harrington) and our favorite Jake Johnson collaborator, and consider the cognitive process of the person arriving at these conclusions. Then go debate them some more.

In the meantime, if you have any other (hopefully less insane) ideas of lookalikes between the worlds of professional basketball and skateboarding, we’d love to hear them. Also, Oklahoma in four? Cool.

Lil’ Boosie was found not guilty on Friday. He’s still serving a maximum sentence of eight years for unrelated charges. DGB says his people claim he’ll be out in 12-18 months. Thankfully, he’s one dude who we don’t have to worry about signing to some garbage rap conglomerate when he gets out.

It would be great if The New York Times never ever ever wrote about skateboarding again. (This article from 2004 was cool though.)

Frozen in Carbonite dwells on parallels between soldiers and skaters, whether or not Jimmy Darmody from Boardwalk Empire would’ve skated in mid-’10s central Jersey, Heller’s Catch 22, the prospect of banging nurses on some Italian beach during WWII, an A-Team resurgence, Katy Perry, and other stuff.

The Feelin’ Friendly video premieres at House of Vans this Thursday, May 17th, at 9 P.M. Flyer here, trailer here, throwaway clip with a 2 Chainz verse here.

World renown partyboy skater, Torey Goodall, has some footage in this clip of a Huf Footwear trip to Montreal.

This ramp on Craigslist definitely looks like a steal for $100.

Here’s Dan Carreiro’s part from the KCDC video. More tranny-based than the others. Link to Pierce’s part here, and the rest of the parts here, so it’s all pretty much online.

Skateboarders love Big L so much, that he’s the only rapper whose radio freestyles they’ll use for video part songs.

Not only did they knob the Up Rails on the west side, but they found another effective skateboard deterrent for the spot by throwing horse shit in front of it. Horse Shit: Cheaper Than Installing Knobs & Twice As Effective.

Jeremy Lin is on a familiar downward slope of New York life, which may eventually spit him out as a bar-back at Dark Room or something.

Speaking of Starter jackets (and Asians and the Knicks), Ping from Seinfeld (the Chinese delivery guy) has an ill Knicks one.

Quote of the Week:

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You ever did a little dirt and it came back a little worse?

Though it may appear that having a next-best-thing-to-free apartment on Spring Street, and the luxury of avoiding work or higher education for the better part of a quarter-century is easy, such an assumption would be a mistake. To the superficial eye, Matthew Mooney’s lifestyle affords him a plethora of free time. However, you should know that he toils in his Nolita office day-in and day-out with the burden of having to solve all of life’s crucial questions. For example, who are the ten best partyboy pro skaters?

For most, concluding on such an elaborate topic would require the time it takes to complete two, maybe three dissertations. Mooney solved it in a mere afternoon, when the Jewish Hockey League had taken over the T.F. and he had nowhere to go. Here is Mooney’s finalized list, just in time for the weekend…

The list is not without its flaws. It has an apparent bias to party careers largely sustained in New York. Several inclusions have retired from the party, possibly rendering them ineligible for one of Spring Street’s most coveted titles. Alex Olson and Jason Dill are controversial choices, and even the mastermind behind these heavily debated ranks admitted to a mental mistake of excluding Fred Gall. You could make the case that there is at least one partyboy skater more distinguished in the former category than Mike Carroll, but it makes sense for Mike Carroll to be on any top 10 list involving skateboarding. (Top 10 Vert Skaters? Mike Carroll #7? Ok, sure. Not no, right? In fact, you may recall that frequent QS commenter, Ricky Oyola, ranked Carroll as the #1 switch mongo skater.)

If you have a topic that you would like to see Mooney tackle, please contact him on Twitter or on Instagram (@thewavybaby) to make a suggestion.

(This full ad is really sick.)

48 Blocks has been posting an all-Pier 7 video by Brad Johnson over the past two weeks. Highlights include Marcus McBride doing every plausible flip trick over the blocks, Rob Welsh being a #phatstylez icon, Young Stevie almost attempting a boneless, and Lavar McBride reminding everyone that he will forever be the best little kid skater. No, it doesn’t matter how many kids today can nollie flip back tail (or 1080) before they can buy cigarettes.

As a companion piece to the Pier 7 video, here’s Lavar’s part from S.F’s Greatest Misses, also a Brad Johnson creation (while we’re at it, he’s also responsible for one of skateboarding’s greatest party parts.) It’s a compilation video released in 2006 that encompasses the late-EMB days through the Pier 7 / Union Square era. The mid-nineties Cellski track also cares to remedy the underutilization of classic Bay Area rap in Bay Area skate parts, an issue we’re still dealing with today.

It has been on YouTube for five years, but the quality is trash. Here’s a cleaned up version. Oh, and here’s a link to watch Trilogy, just in case.

Does anyone who works for Patrón happen to go on this site? Would you guys be interested in purchasing an ad? We have some great product placement opportunities as well. The Wavy Baby with a switch back Patrón slide. Photo by Pryce Holmes.

The New York Knicks won a playoff game. It only took eleven years.

Chris Nieratko did a great interview with Erik Ellington for Sneeze Mag about [no longer doing] drugs, alcohol, health food, living in Alaska, cooking with olive oil, stretching, etc. “I talk to people that are younger than me that don’t skate and they’re really old. They’re physically worn out, they’re mentally worn out and I think the people that we surround ourselves with in skateboarding allows us to stay young.”

“The Los Angeles City Council voted Wednesday to seek a speed limit for skateboarders and penalize them for failing to follow a range of traffic rules…” The photos indicate that this is mostly due to l*ngb**rders, but L.A. suucckks.

If you’re having a fit while your girlfriend films you try a 360 flip off the Mambo Bar ledge 50 times, keep in mind that it might wind up on YouTube.

Jonathan Mehring with some photos of a Sunday session at New York’s most famous metal curb on the Skateboarder site.

Black Dave “Life in the City — Part 1.” The bucket hat on Obama is a good look.

Back when there were actually skate spots in Hoboken, we used to wonder if someone would ever drop-in on the Pier A gazebo. A guy did it on a bike, so a Natural Koncept rider doing it isn’t far away. Weezy has five racks on it. (The real question: How did he get a bike up there?)

Some idiot who writes for the Post suggested that Jay-Z rename the Brooklyn Nets, “The New York N—-s.” People obviously got upset about how, you know, that’s racist, and insanely stupid to print in a major newspaper, but nobody pointed out that he stole the idea from a 15-year-old Chris Rock routine.

2 Chainz with some motivational words about fulfilling your goals. #ThugMotivation.

Quote of the Week: “I’ll kick your ass…first try.” — Drunk Skateboarder Getting Into a Fight

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Thanks to everyone who linked and re-posted the new Lurkers video.

It’s *not* Lurkers 3, but it is the third piece to the early-2000s’ most lovable white New York skateboarder video franchise. Contributions from Tron Jenkins and the guy who skates in sweatpants while holding a Pepsi, not to mention Mooney’s first official post-jail footage (it was recently discovered that Mooney didn’t know the difference between ordering hot and cold coffee, so he recently forfeited his white side), help it be slightly less white than its predecessor, Lurkers 2. There are no more Flushing sessions, T.F. antics, or trips to P.S. 6 in Staten Island. Instead, there are trips to Barcelona, mad cutty Brooklyn spots, and fun times at the Supreme L.A. bowl. A lot changes in eight years, doesn’t it?

Features Charles Lamb, Ty Lyons, Matthew Mooney, Josh Velez A.K.A. Josh Veledge, Ritch Swain, Mat Terwilliger, Taji Ameen, Lurker Lou, Pryce Holmes, Ted Barrow (all-Lenox Ledges comeback part by the end of 2012?), Alex Olson, Mike Gigliotti, Miles Marquez, Dave Caddo, Ian Reid, Sasha Lamb and a bunch of other lurkers. Edited by Joey Gallagher.

Lurkers 3 is on schedule for release in summer 2032.

And no, the spot at 1:03 isn’t around anymore.