Idk This East Coast Lingo — Quotes Over the Years Vol. 4

September 12th, 2017 | 12:10 pm | Features & Interviews | 5 Comments

Double the garbage in 2k17!

Quartersnacks turns twelve today. As with every passing year that we manage to keep the depository of nerdy shit about skateboarding and inside jokes almost nobody gets — we’d like to thank everyone who visits the website, supports it in any way, shows us around their city when we travel abroad, and spreads the word about what we have going on here. Thanks, it really means a lot ♥

And as with every passing two years, we have a compilation of quotes collected from the QS extended family. The majority of the content that appears on this website is nothing more than a long-winded shittalking session in written form, but these are the bits that didn’t have enough legs to be expanded into long-windedness ;)

Previously: Sick of Rich Girls, Boyz Will B Boyz, Volume 1


Sexually Active Young Lady: “I’m not sure, I might’ve only fucked him because his bio said ‘free spirit.’”
Tron Jenkins: “Don’t be mad at him because he went to college.”

“That kid scoots like a Polar skater.” — Keith Denley

“Do you think Johnny’s complete disregard for anyone’s feelings is the real source of MPC’s productivity?” — Nick Boserio

“Girls here are mad weird. I just matched with a girl whose bio says ‘Hitler’s Dreamgirl.’” — Antonio Durao re: Tinder in Chicago

“All my ideas suck.” — Nick Nunez

“Seeing clips of Justin Bieber skating makes me want to start skateboarding again.” — Thando

“There are times when I’m too drunk to remember my parents’ names but I’ll never forget 2 Chainz’ verse on ‘Mud Musik.’” — Shrimp C

“Lets get some cookies or something.” — Hjalte Halberg

Kuz: “Just give me the word, I’ll quit my job and break up with my girlfriend.”
Inquisitive Gentleman: “You have a girlfriend?”
Kuz: “No, but if I did, I’d break up with her.”

“You have good credit man. Want a free iPad?” — AT&T Employee

“If English was my first language, I’d be a famous comedian.” — Charles Rivard

“I dress like a more refined version of myself as a seventeen-year-old pot dealer.” — Dylgr

“He showed up to the skatepark in a cashmere poncho.” — Dom Travis

“Don’t walk up to me pretending like you’re going sober. I don’t care.” — T-Bird

Sweet Waste: “Where did my youth go man…”
Observant Gentleman: “Enid’s.”
Sweet Waste: “Shit, you’re right.”

“Whoa. Somebody made our beds.” — Max Palmer re: hotels

“Damn, did Sierra Fellers fall off?” — E.J.

“I’m a skater, I’m not a squirrel suit guy.” — Cyrus Bennett

“One of my favorite drunk pastimes is watching Guns N’ Roses videos.” — Torey Goodall

“Dre is like the cool uncle who spoils you. He’ll give you a free board and then be like, ‘Here, take this trail mix with you.’” — Alexander Mosley

“Bernie Sanders is gonna win off memes.” — Martin Davis

“My ass is getting too fat, I need to start jogging.” — Matt Perez

“I deadass had a dream about Rob Campbell last night.” — E.J.

“Skateboarders are the only group of adults that hang out together. I’ll hit up all my friends who don’t skate on a 70-degree day and they’re either at work or with their girlfriends.” — Dylgr

“I didn’t know I was beast until I varial flipped a trash can.” — Genesis Evans

“She was like ‘let’s go to dinner,’ I was like ‘let’s get a beer.’ I didn’t get dinner — and it all went downhill from there.” — Charles Rivard

“I heard having heavy ankle weights is actually really bad for you. You’re supposed to work your way up.” — Daniel Kim

“Ever since I moved to New York I got worse at skating and better at drinking.” — Jesse Alba

“Slicky Boy and Dirty Daddy are the only reasons I’m still on Facebook.” — T-Bird

“Would any of you be interested in buying a l*ngb**rd?” — Our Montreal Airbnb Host

“Kent Jones is like the new Shaggy.” — Stuart Hammond

Inquisitive Gentleman: “Have you ever seen a shark out in the water?”
Dave Dowd: “I don’t believe in sharks.”

“Anthony Bourdain ruined dating because now you have to take a girl to like, Thailand.” — T-Bird

“The room was $140, but ended up being $500 because my girl picked up the walnuts.” — Carl Williams

“Until we elect Trump, the British are the dumbest people on the planet.” — Dylgr [June 2016]

“It’s like The Berrics, but for art.” — E.J.

“People ask what the 25¢ on my shirt means and I tell them that’s what my checking account says.” — Dylgr

“That’s the good thing about skateboarding — it doesn’t really matter.” — Marcel Veldman

“I love Montreal so much, but every time I come here, I’m such a piece of shit.” — Jersey Dave

“I’m so glad I didn’t go to double town China set.” — John Choi

“It’s literally harder to get into a bar than it is to get married.” — Rob Harris

“Positivity is sexy. Creativity is even sexier.” — Andrew Wilson

Pryce Holmes: “I probably spend $30,000 a year on booze.”
Ben Blundell: “I’ve never made over ten.”

Inquisitive Gentleman: “How do you get used to skating with long hair but no hat?”
Daniel Kim: “You don’t, you just learn how to skate blind.”

“We were supposed to make way more money, but we spent it all on limousines.” — Phil Lavoie

“I’m not sure I could live with somebody who could nollie backside 180 a bump to bar.” — Conor Prunty

Inquisitive Gentleman: “Why does everyone in Canada move to Montreal?”
Keith Henry: “Because nobody needs a job there. You find your rent on the floor.”

“The last thing you want to be is sponsored.” — Bob LaSalle

“They had Papoose perform right before Christmas when I was going to BMCC.” — Greg Huff

“I don’t like drinking in my skate clothes.” — Will Robson-Scott

“There’s a hospital really close, but it only has two stars on Yelp.” — Dom Travis

“I just found out through Google that I have chlamydia, I should bounce.” — Name Withheld

“Instead of ‘Skater of the Year,’ there should also be an award that’s just ‘Best Skater,’ where it’s been Ishod for the past five years.” — Pryce Holmes

Yaje: “In Europe, you can get beer anywhere, even at the vending machine.”
Jason Byoun: “Word. That’s like the Staten Island Ferry.”

“You don’t skate, nor is this inspirational to you.” — Lurker Lou

“Only three things are keeping me sane in 2017: cocho, hucking, and the boys.” — John Choi

“I’ll never do my own taxes. 5 + 5 + 2? I’m over it.” — Francesco Pini

“I know people who know Sarah McLachlan.” — Dustin Henry

“I have too many totes.” — Keith Denley

“Yo…actually, I like wearing wack gear.” — Ben Blundell

Inquisitive Gentleman: “Where are you?”
Corey Rubin: “Bellport, Long Island. But if anyone asks, say Dubai.”

“To be honest, the fittest birds I saw in Sao Paolo were blokes.” — Will R.S.

“I realized that you could do that job hungover, but it’s just better if you don’t.” — Dallas Todd

“Toughen up dude, have a piña colada.” — David Dowd

Conor Prunty: “It took me like two years to learn how to ollie.”
Jesse Alba: “My dad is still learning how to ollie, he’s been skating for like 40 years.”

“When I was 20, all I wanted to do was impress girls. And now, I’m 30 and all I want to do is impress 20-year-old boys.” — Torey Goodall re: E.T.

“This place is like the south.” — Kevin Tierney re: Staten Island

“The Mitch interview felt like a nice insight into a hardened man. Pause.” — Max Hull

“I really wish you punched someone on this trip.” — Charles Rivard to Zach Baker

“Gay Ledges is like Eggs, except nowhere near as good and you get kicked out in five minutes.” — Lurker Lou

“James Harden is like the guy at the spot who knows how to land all tricks, but he’s wearing fat Globes and skinny pants.” — Francesco Pini

“Would you rather go to jail for one year by yourself, or go to jail for ten years with gang?” — J Boy

Inquisitive Gentleman: “Ok, where is the nearest place to buy beer?”
Will Marshall: “Yeah, who are we gonna make rich?”

“I don’t really start partying until I’m in the meatpacking district.” — John Choi

“Yo, do you wanna hear some bars?” — Slicky Boy, 2:30 A.M. on the dance floor of a China Chalet party

Kevin Tierney: “I hate going out drinking with a board because I’m afraid I might lose it.”
Colin Sussingham: “Yeah, there’s no way you could get another one, right?”

“The price isn’t the problem. Pryce is the problem.” — Dallas Todd

“Just wait until I fucking tell the habibis back in New York that they sold me half a chicken with no sauce.” — Josh Velez re: Copenhagen Halal food

Inquisitive Gentleman: “Who was the best skater at your wedding?”
Nick Boserio: “Me.”

“In this day and age, it’s sicker to not get footage.” — Nik Stain

Hungry Gentleman: “I’m thinking about going to Lil’ Frankie’s.”
Jesse Alba: “Damn, you have that much cash on you?”

“I saw the coolest dog today. Sometimes that’s all you need.” — James from Labor

“Sex minutes are like dog years.” — Charles Rivard

“Lil’ Uzi is rap Blink 182.” — Pryce Holmes

“If Pontus ever has a heart attack, I’m definitely sending my sponsor me tape to Frog.” — Hjalte Halberg

“Two years from now, we’ll all be living in Maspeth.” — Max Palmer re: increasing rent costs in New York City

“Did I ever tell you about the time I was seven hours early to work but still three hours late?” — Keith Denley

“Every skater is responsible for bringing their own wax.” — E.J.

“Beer is making a big comeback” — Zach Baker

“If you’re trying to get laid, the number one rule is don’t hang out with a bunch of skaters.” — Dylgr

“You realize that Voss is just Oslo tap water, right?” — Norwegian Girl

“Quartersnacks is my favorite non-pornographic website.” — Stuart Hammond

“I’m trying to go vegan and start smoking.” — Max Palmer

“At the end of the day, Ragdoll, Southie and Lizard King are the ones who really changed skateboarding” — Francesco Pini

“I always get misquoted.” — Alexander Mosley


Comment by Milly Mcphart
  • can someone lease explain how dime has enough money to put on an event of that magnitude and why none of these broke ass skaters try to actually win money?

    September 13, 2017 @ 12:32 pm
  • Comment by Clams
  • They’re not trying to win money. They’re trying to have fun. I will lease that explanation to you for one year.

    September 13, 2017 @ 5:47 pm
  • Comment by mcphart milly
  • “presented by DC Shoes”

    September 14, 2017 @ 8:54 am
  • Comment by jay
  • driving to spot minutes are like dog years

    September 14, 2017 @ 8:21 pm
  • Comment by Maxwell Norman Miller
  • Another amazing post had me laughing out loud, a perfect start to the day! Fuck yea QS, still holding it down after all these years. Can remember partying with some of you boys back in 09′ for the Koston shoe release party in Barcelona haha ice-cold sexy-beers? Swag Surf!

    September 15, 2017 @ 10:57 am
  • Leave a comment