Sick of Rich Girls: Quotes Over the Years — Volume 3

September 18th, 2015 | 4:00 am | Features & Interviews | 10 Comments

chuck mvp

Diagram by Charles Rivard Ph.D

Many people have mentioned that on Monday morning, the first thing they check is the Quote of the Week. Friends who don’t skate say that it is the only #content on the website that translates to them (wait the stuff about Kareem Campbell checking his pager isn’t #relevant to you?) The vast extended family of QS is what gives this website life. Even with all the laughs that happen on a given day, far too many them would end up being “you had to be there”-moments if we strained to recount them in written form. These are the ones that kinda sorta maybe hopefully translate.

We usually do these posts once every few years on the anniversary (September 12), but since this year was the ten, we had to run the retrospective video that day. Here they are for roughly mid-2013 to a week ago. Volume 1 is here and volume 2 here.

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“Sick, now there are babies crying. This is like eating in a hospital.” — Josh Velez on eating in Golden Krust

“You guys are ruining benches that cost millions of dollars.” — A Fort Greene cop regarding two recycled plastic benches

“Dunk wedges are like the new tongue ring.” — Roctakon

“You sold your Xbox for weed.” — Responsible Friend to Slicky Boy

“I have a theory that Time Warner deliberately hires idiots to work their phones so you can’t negotiate with them.” — Bar Homie

“I learned more from Andre Page than I did from college.” — Will Carpio

“Yo ____, can I borrow $5?”
“I’m an illegal immigrant with no job. I’m the last person in this car you should be asking for money.”

“If you’re from San Diego and not on Sk8Mafia, you’re an asshole.” — Riza

“Maroon 5 has a hood pass.” — Ty Lyons

“You’re the first person to ever walk out of this building holding a book.” — Pookie to T-Bird regarding 21 Spring Street

White Girl Leaving Brunch in the West Village #1: “It’s insane. It’s just insane”
White Girl Leaving Brunch in the West Village #2: “I’m not gonna lie, it’s insane.”
White Girl Leaving Brunch in the West Village #3: “I know, it’s so insane.”

“I don’t really like candy, but I’m into desserts.” — Greg Huff

“Who would’ve thought there’d be a black American president before a black Skater of the Year?” — Guy Riza

Skate Nerd in his 30s: “Ishod’s appeal doesn’t span to me.”
Skate Nerd in his 20s: “That’s because you don’t like any skaters under thirty.”
Skate Nerd in his 30s: “I like Lenny Rivas.”

“All the cute fat girls hang out in Brooklyn. They don’t come to Manhattan.” — Rob Harris

“I’ve been on your site before…there were too many words on it.” — A Girl

Beer Drinker #1: “What’s up with these Coors Lights?”
Beer Drinker #2: “The ones on the right I just put in, the ones on the left are cold.”
Beer Drinker #1: “You think I don’t know how to look at the blue strip, motherfucker?”

Observant Gentleman: “She looks way better in photos than in real life.”
T-Bird: “Well, she was the hottest girl at Westway on New Year’s Eve…when I showed up at 5 A.M.”

“I met your ex’s new man the other night.”
“Yeah, he has a great backside tailslide.”

“I’m thinking of going to sleep but I also want to skate this bump-to-bar.” — Alexander Mosley

Store Runner: “You want anything from the store?”
Kiki: “Yeah, can you get me an O.J?”
Store Runner: “Sure, what brand?”
Kiki: “You know, orange juice.”

“I never thought switch skating was going to catch on. I’d tell people they’re better off investing their money in laser discs.” — Justin Barnes

Inquisitive Supreme Employee: “Matt, why aren’t you in school right now?”
19-Year-Old High School Sophomore: “It’s a half day.”
Inquisitive Supreme Employee: “It’s 10:30.”

“You just have to treat being friends with Pryce like dating a hot chick.” — Torey Goodall

“I’m sick of rich girls. I’m into poor girls.” — Ben Bartle

“Yo, you have chest hair, you’re too old to be in a product toss. It’s quiet for you.” — T-Bird

“Gay Ledges is like Eggs, except nowhere near as good and you get kicked out in five minutes.” — Lurker Lou

“I heard they got a Wet Willy’s in AC. I gotta check that out…I might do that tomorrow.” — Carl Williams

“I’ve had sex to Honest two of the past three nights. Once it was to the online stream, another to the CD.” — The G Man

“Tiesto is my favorite.” — Moya

“Having ‘Most Dunks’ be your defining stat is like being the skateboarder with the most handrails in your part.” — Pryce Holmes on the Los Angeles Clippers

“That spot was like a Philly step into poverty.” — Josh Velez

Tufty: “We need to get beers.”
Waste: “There are 18 back at the house.”
Tufty: “That’s not enough.”

“All ADHD means is that you’re psyched on doing things.” — Francesco Pini

“What the hell is the tristate area? Ain’t no tristate! Jersey and New York — that’s the tristate.” — Overheard Angry Guy on the Phone

“Black people drinking Blue Moon just looks weird.” — Ty Lyons

“Is bae a thot?” — Dave Dowd

“If you fuck up on building a skatepark, you suck for life. I don’t care if you win a Golden Globe afterwards.” — Francesco, C.E.O. of Quartersnacks’ Scandinavian Branch

“My favorite skater is Louie Lopez and my second favorite skater is Louie Lopez when he gets older.” — Guy Riza

“Yo you know what’s fact? Most pretty girls have bigass foreheads.” — Overheard at Lenox Ledges

“I don’t understand why people don’t fuck with Yahoo.” — Peter Sidlauskas

“There’s nothing worse than a hot girl on a cleanse.” — Barnes

“This is great. Y’all look like a rock band. Like Kings of Leon or some shit.” — Home Depot employee to group of caucasian skaters purchasing dozens of bags of concrete

Observant Gentleman: “I wish I was fat so I could skate pools well.”
Alexander Mosley: “Fat people skate transition better, but there’s a lot you can do that they can’t. You’re not gonna see a fat person doing backside 180 nosegrinds.”

“I hope all of us get laid tonight, deadass.” — Sketch Sketch

“I have probably spent a million dollars on skateboarders in my life.” — Andre Page

“We wanted to send PLG [Pierre-Luc Gagnon] some Dime gear, and asked him what size he was. He goes, ‘I’ll take larges for skating, and mediums for the club.’” — Antoine Asselin

“Being loud and obnoxious doesn’t get you ahead in life. Most of the time, it sets you back. Actually, all of the time.” — Andre Page

“Yo, I heard a plate at Mr. Chow is like $600. That shit better feed me for the rest of my life.” — Matt Perez

Dylgr: “We should drive there.”
Observant Gentleman: “It’s like a ten-minute walk and parking will be a nightmare.”
Dylgr: “Yeah, but we can listen to the Rich Gang mixtape.”

“I’m not good anymore.” — Keith Denley

“I dead-ass saw him slap some dude dumb bigger than him.” — Andre Page

“The first thing I thought when I started watching that catcalling video was, ‘Oh no, I hope I’m not in this.’” — T-Bird

“I hate the woods, have you ever seen The Blair Witch Project?” — Matthew Perez

“All my favorite songs are Mustard on the beat.” — Girls

Madison Square Garden Security Guard: “You okay in there?”
Guy Who Vomited on Himself in the Bathroom Stall: “I’m just taking it easy.”

“I think people are confused by the high amount of updates on the website lately.” — Pad

“My son Johnny Depp stay getting wild typecast.” — Boss Bauer

“Oh Fifty Shades of Grey, I want to read that when the movie comes out.” — E.J.

“Johnny peaked with Space Heater.” — Max Palmer

“Quartersnacks? What’s up with that? Is that like the same thing as the Dunk?” — Queens Mall Zumiez Employee

“This white bird told me she wants to teach me how to surf. I can’t even swim. It’s gonna take her the rest of her life.” — Carl Williams

“I’m rich in unpaid invoices.” — Pad

Observant Gentleman: “Sometimes I see people wearing bootcut jeans with actual boots, and I think ‘Oh wow, that doesn’t look that bad.’”
Will R.S: “Bruv, you’re a fucking dimwit.”

“Biebel became one of my favorite skaters this year because of Instagram.” — Jack Sabback

“Tribeca is like the Equinox of skateparks.” — Connor Champion

“I just saw you skateboarding down Grand Street with a bunch of children.” — A Girl

“I missed my flight one time, so I made myself take the A train back home from JFK as punishment.” — Sweet Waste

“I want to get really good at skating gnarly shit.” — Yaje Popson

“In all honesty, Daniel Lutheran had my favorite part.” — Pryce Holmes

“Vaping is the rollerblading of smoking.” — Billy Rohan

“The West Village is the new East Village.” — E.J

“I gotta rewatch some Jackass.” — Keith From Nike

“Young Thug is good at making sex sound unappealing.” — Torey Goodall

“Fucking Chachi man. I can’t hang out with Mexicans anymore, they party too hard.” — Matthew Mooney

“I hate how phone cases feel. It’s like wearing a condom. Why would you do that?” — [Name Withheld]

“Fetty Wap is like Willie Nelson.” — Corey Rubin

“Nobody looks unhappier than people who are really good at skating transition.” — Roctakon

“I watched Wild, it was like a fakeass Into the Wild.” — E.J.

“Do you know where I can get Xanax? …or any other drugs? …is that VX? I used to skate.” — Soho Lurker

“Have you ever eaten at Quizno’s before? It sucks.” — Cyrus

“I listened to the NPBS soundtrack the other day. It’s the only thing that makes me want to start drinking again.” — Baptiste

“Having a French bulldog is like buying a used Jaguar. It’s the best and you’ll love the thing, but it’s going to cost you a ton of money.” — Barnes

“I don’t fuck with that ‘bros over hoes’ code. That’s some skater bullshit.” — C. Williams

Inquisitive Gentleman Holding 2 CDs: “Chris Brown or Nas?”
Car of Four People, In Unison: “Chris Brown.”

Corey: “White girls are so easy.”
Thando: “Yeah, maybe when you look like you sell bibles it is.”

“I dunno what to edit it to.”
“Edit it to Future.”
“But his last part was to Future.”
“Well edit it to another Future song.”

“Who’s gonna be the face of Zero now that Chris Cole left?”
“They don’t need a face, they got a skull.”

Inquisitive Gentleman: “You ever been to Dubai?”
E.J: “No, there’s a Shake Shack in the airport though.”

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“I can’t mess with any girl that lives closer to JFK than Union Square.” — Thando

“Wade D. is the Drake of skating.” — Phil Lavoie

“He’s the best guy, but he sells the worst drugs.” — Sketchy Bartender

Johnny Wilson: “Do you want to go to 1OAK?”
John Choi: “Why are you asking me stupid questions?”

10 Comments

Comment by Rayon grey
  • Outstanding content, global appeal

    September 18, 2015 @ 5:34 am
  • Comment by DKNY Grip Lover
  • incredible.

    September 18, 2015 @ 12:11 pm
  • Comment by A girl
  • I cant reed tho

    September 18, 2015 @ 1:15 pm
  • Comment by art hellman
  • QS needs a “you said it, we read it”
    a la https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbgvV-exiBc

    September 18, 2015 @ 4:03 pm
  • Comment by dmath
  • This is phenomenal…thank you

    September 18, 2015 @ 5:38 pm
  • Comment by Choppa Grande
  • when is the QS app dropping? Im getting carpal tunnel from all of this pinching and swiping

    September 19, 2015 @ 4:19 pm
  • Comment by Ts
  • Google and Facebook give their employees Patagonia gear. Probably not his idea of success tho

    September 20, 2015 @ 8:43 pm
  • Comment by mira conyo
  • too funny lol

    September 21, 2015 @ 10:11 am
  • Comment by Freshman
  • Can I use quartersnacks for my news report at school

    September 21, 2015 @ 12:56 pm
  • Comment by bryan
  • damn jesse kisses with his eyes open? thats like some intense japanese porn shit

    October 8, 2015 @ 1:37 pm
  • Leave a comment