As Hurricane Tropical Storm Irene makes its way up the east coast, New York residents continue to disregard that its severity has been embellished by the Mike “I blew it on the Christmas storm” Bloomberg propaganda machine. But in the event that he is not lying in hopes of preventing a backlash similar to the one from last winter, we have devised a (somewhat) definitive guide on how any potential flooding could affect skateboarding in New York after tomorrow’s “hurricane.”

Tompkins Square Park – Flood Zone C: Thankfully, the most sacred ground in New York City skateboarding will only be compromised in the event of a category 3 storm or worse. E.J. doesn’t seem too worried about it, despite the fact that his Avenue D residence is in Zone A. Who needs to go to an evacuation center when you can just sit on the benches at Tompkins?

Remember Billy’s famous words from the 2003 blackout: “Tompkins is the safest place in the world right now.” The same could be said about this storm. The shipping container at 12th & A might also be a good hideout for those with Zone A residences.