The Events That Defined New York City Skateboarding in 2010: 20-16

December 8th, 2010 | 3:32 pm | Features & Interviews | 14 Comments

Continuing on with the weekly installment of the list. Numbers 25 through 21 can be found here.

20. Autumn / Tylenol Bowl gets destroyed

The longstanding (by New York indoor skate fixture standards) Autumn Bowl saw its demise via bulldozer late this year, after a much-publicized effort to be sold to an enthusiastic enterprise with $20,000 on its hands and airlift transportation capabilities. For a significant portion of the decade, the Autumn Bowl served the city’s seemingly high concentration of transition skaters, or those who were sick and tired of looking for metal scraps in Brooklyn to channel their artistic tendencies with a skateboard. It was also responsible for many frostbite cases within New York, as it victimized all those who chose not to follow the plywood-suggested navigational moat that ran alongside the frozen swamp at the entrance.

19. Brengar submits an invoice to Habitat Skateboards for filming Fred Gall nosepick dive into a river in “Origin”

With census jobs in high demand, but thin with work to actually accommodate those feeling the after effects proceeding “The Great Recession,” drastic financial measures were employed by key media figures in order to pay rent pay for cigarettes, and other living expenses. New York’s skateboarders were reliant on these jobs to help keep money in their pocket, and fresh suede Cons on their feet. But even the most faithful managers at various census stations soon waned in relying on the skateboard-owning sect of their workforce, as it didn’t take long to realize there were far more reliable (recently laid-off) people available, as opposed to those who come in two-hours late wearing torn up skate shoes. Brengar, a casualty of this fallout (which contributed to him being a low-key force this year, as he was rarely spotted slapping his peers upside their head and taking their lunch money), did what any sensible businessman would do: he tallied out his accounts receivable column, and billed his clients on what they believed to be a forgotten debt.

18. Kevin Tierney begins drinking coffee

There is something that defines skateboarders as “adults” in New York, and it is not alcoholism, facial hair, or a history of fornicating on the TF bench. It’s an aromatic substance that separates “dunions” and “old guys,” and it is not beer, since many of the dunions have already developed a taste for that. Coffee, and its copious consumption, has been shaving away instances of little kid style for years, at the expense of hefty brunch tabs at Peels, and a newfound inability to skateboard before 4 P.M. on any given day (even when you eat brunch at somewhere that’s a two-minute skate away from 12th & A.)

Kevin’s hyperactive celebration of this brown bean, and subsequent slamming on an adjacent wall was the first sign of his transition to adulthood. Similar to how the Jewish tradition celebrates a man’s coming of age with a Bar Mitzvah (Kevin never had a Bar Mitzvah, nor is he Jewish), New York skateboarding celebrates a coming of age with a dependence on caffeinated beverages in order to maintain productivity. Long-gone are the days of Scatman soundtracks and Osiris wardrobes, as he has been busy becoming a title-holder at the Dr. Toothy’s bump, which was this past spring’s seizure-inducing (“Oh my God, it’s a perfect bump!”) spot of the week that sent hordes of VX1000s marching down Centre Street.

17. Black Dave gets a photo with Flavor Flav

Dave, much like Kevin, is en route to becoming one of the finer skateboarders within the New York metropolitan area. Beyond his Black Panther-esque instance of TF enforcement this past spring (a high-note for TF Civil Rights), he has spent the year successfully rolling away from many difficult skateboard maneuvers. The only difference between the two’s current position within the skateboard personality marketplace, is that Dave and Flavor Flav, by some miraculous stroke of fate, happened to be in the same photograph together, thus earning him higher placement on the countdown.

16. Fort Greene Park gets pillaged by skateboarders

Every summer has one. This year, it was Fort Greene Park, which after last year’s renovation, had its previously unskateable floor re-done to accommodate urethane, and caused a horde of summertime tourists to temporarily take over all flat surfaces of the monument. The results of this phenomenon affected two things: real estate and calves. The rise in real estate prices was due to the well-known fact that white people love renewed things in Brooklyn, almost as much as they love manual tricks. And calves, well, those all started to bulk up after spending hours upon end ollieing on top of the unnecessarily high platform.

Bonus Mini Top 5 — The Best Rumors of 2010:

5. Paulgar is on Twitter. (This is not Paulgar.)
4. Dylan Reider wears $400 designer jeans with an Analog patch on them, because there is no way he looks that good wearing straight factory gear (as opposed to the product of a world-renown French fashion house.)
3. “I just got back from the Bahamas.” — Brengar
2. Max Fish is closing. (This turned out to be true, as of yesterday. Consider it a spoiler for much, much later in the countdown.)
1. Cheeto bigspin flipped into the Courthouse. No one, or anyone we know has seen the footage, and we can only hope to God that this is true, because it would be massive, largely because it’s someone who has been skating the TF for years doing a trick that some bum from Europe is destined to pull off in 2011. If this is in fact true, Quartersnacks will pay top dollar for the footage.

14 Comments

Comment by Jew
  • Bah Mitzvah? C’mon Snack, this is New York. You should know that it’s Bar Mitzvah.

    December 8, 2010 @ 4:34 pm
  • Comment by Snack
  • That’s probably the first time I ever spelled that word in my life, so it happens. I’m not well versed in Jewish traditions and their proper spellings, I just knew that they were happening whenever a classroom was half-empty.

    December 8, 2010 @ 4:40 pm
  • Comment by adrian
  • it’s spelled “bah” not “bar”. I’m not even jewish.

    December 8, 2010 @ 5:45 pm
  • Comment by rabbi weiss
  • Both spellings are acceptable in my book.

    December 8, 2010 @ 6:13 pm
  • Comment by honestly..
  • i thought kevin tierneys head was going to be taken off by one of those air conditioners in that last clip

    December 8, 2010 @ 6:16 pm
  • Comment by Philosopher
  • Max Fish is closing, bummer; I could’ve told you that was coming the day they 86’d me in 2008 for calling out some cockblocking “thug” after Shannon made move away from the girl I was talking to.

    Dude was standing around the pool table with no drink talking about “who’s next” when he was probably the first person in the bar that day–trust trying to hustle his way to relevance.

    Then I come back around trying to squash is but they say no and the Jason dude calls me a rich white boy for calling the kid out as a bum.

    Fuck that shit, and fuck the Fish.

    December 8, 2010 @ 6:22 pm
  • Comment by Philosopher
  • Rich white boys live on Avenue A…

    December 8, 2010 @ 6:24 pm
  • Comment by les
  • snack you should log onto twitter, the fish is trending right now in new york lol

    December 8, 2010 @ 6:31 pm
  • Comment by True story
  • But yah is really some rich white niggas on this site yo. I cant fucks wif yah no moe

    December 8, 2010 @ 9:19 pm
  • Comment by mexico
  • photo credit! on the photo with bd and flava!

    December 8, 2010 @ 11:04 pm
  • Comment by gucci
  • my traphouse is like moorehouse

    i got niggas all around it

    December 9, 2010 @ 4:06 am
  • Comment by george
  • yeah fuck hipsters

    December 9, 2010 @ 2:02 pm
  • Comment by tig ol' bitties
  • hey miles? can we go iceskating together?

    December 9, 2010 @ 4:45 pm
  • Comment by Harry Corrigan
  • mexican on the photo tip

    December 9, 2010 @ 8:07 pm
  • Leave a comment