Update: Chris Cole won. Who cares. He was funner to watch back when he skated to Common (he used to not suck too, in a far off place, a long time ago.) His style was still hideous, but fun to watch.

Skateboard contests are a lot like Celtics and Lakers NBA Finals, in that there are rarely any surprises. Regardless of who wins, you expect both of them to win at the start of the season. The Boston fans are psyched, and people from LA pretend like they give a shit about basketball for a week-and-a-half once they coincidentally hear that the Lakers happen to be in the finals again. They’ll walk around with Lakers gear for a week, and then roll their eyes at you for the remaining 51 weeks of the year if the topic of basketball happens to come up. Meanwhile, the people who stick with their teams in the good times, as well as the bad times, sit around and read books and wait for the next season to start. There’s no suspense, nothing to look forward to. Great, the Celtics won, who cares. Great, the Lakers won, Kobe’s the worst. Lutzka or P-Rod will probably win. They’re contest skaters, they’re talented, but nobody cares besides their sponsors and little kids.

Some fat black guy on the 7 yesterday asked if I was “competing in that contest” (Do kids with basketballs on the train ever get asked, “Hey, are you going to go play against Lebron, Durant and Steve Nash in that thing tomorrow?”) I gave him a sincere “no.” He told me that once the “California kids show up, it’s over. New York kids ain’t got nothing on them California kids.” I told him to root for Eli once he said he’s going there with his son. I invite you to do the same.

Otherwise, AVE, Biebel, Westgate, Gravette, Busenitz, Dollin, Rowley, Lizard King, Janoski, and Zered are all worth supporting as well. (And if you’re going for the predictable, go for Koston.)

P.S. If you’re from New York, and a Lakers fan, you need to move.