A great way to forfeit what remaining morsel of credibility your music publication had left is to state that Kanye West somehow had one of the best rap albums of the past decade. Whatever though, let’s continue…

Quartersnacks Celebrates the Decade – The 100 Most Important Events in New York City Skateboarding from 2000 to 2009: 100 to 91, 90 to 81, 80 to 71, 70 to 61, 60 to 51, 50 to 41, 40 to 31, 30 to 21, 20 to 11, 10 to 2, Number one.

30. Eli Reed switch flips into the courthouse drop — 2009

It is possible that either the city had a widespread decrease in health concerns, the Skateboarders Union negotiated much better health benefits or just maybe the swine flu “pandemic” left everyone feeling a bit suicidal, but this trick was the first to set off a wave of switch landings into the largest overall health hazard in Lower Manhattan.

29. Remedy legitimizes flatbar footage in modern day skate videos – 2001:
New York is a lot more ahead of the times in skateboarding than most people give it credit for. Sure, every other city steals its sense of fashion, culture, music, etc. from New York once it happens to be over the said trend, but skateboarding is so ingrained in Southern California associations and mannerisms that no one has ever bothered assessing the other, better city’s contributions to the game (aside from skating spots-that-aren’t-really-spots.) Before the heated debate over the legitimacy of planted flatbars in Steve Berra parts, constructed Staples Center hubba replicas, and made-to-be-skated launch ramps (as opposed to junk ramps) came into fruition, New York already said, “Hey look, it’s ok if you get kicked out of every spot and don’t have any heart, you don’t have to try anymore. Just get a flatbar, and it’s ok, stop fucking crying about it.”

Remedy had parts from Chauncey and Scott Schwartz that were at least 60% filmed on flatbars in the back of Union Square during the summers of 2000 and 2001. We’re talking full video parts here. The legitimacy of spots debate is not new, nor is it relevant, because it was ended with the release of this video.

28. The Janitor invents the Clean-Up — 2003:

Great eras in TF history are much like political careers, in that they are irremovably tied to specific events, wars, and scandals. The Janitor, probably the wealthiest TF legend, and his signature trick, “The Clean Up” or the crooked grind 360 shove it out, was in and of itself — an event, a war, and a scandal, all wrapped in one. It was pioneered on none other than the World Industries box that stands as Scotty Schwartz’s rival to Frank Lloyd Wright’s entire catalog. The trick had sustained years worth of claimers, ranging everywhere from the Wall street Pyramid Ledges to the grate at Flushing Meadow Park, but luckily for us, the Janitor never left the TF with it. Joseph Delgado would usher in a minor resurgence of this maneuver in his Flipmode 4 part, but there was a certain immaterial beauty that was missing, and rendered it worlds apart from when it so gracefully glided across the red metal lip of the Schwartz box, and would make its triumphant full circle turn below the Janitor’s Vans onto the Tompkins floor.

27. Brengar moves to New York – 2006:

Around the time Brengar moved to New York, the city experienced an immeasurable drop in smoking-related deaths and diseases among young skateboarders. Researchers and medical experts were baffled as to why this group was experiencing such an unprecedented decrease in cigarette-related illness despite no drops in cigarette purchases overall, and for years they tried to figure it out with practically no results.

I, however, know the reason, and it is directly correlated to Brengar. When a smoker purchased a pack for $9.75, he (the purchaser) would only be able to smoke two out of the twenty cigarettes in the pack, as an overweight “person” with curly hair, and a foul odor emitting from the same mustard-stained flannel he had been wearing for six months would come up to them and mutter the phrase: “Boge?”

And he would do this anywhere from three hundred to four hundred times a day, ushering in an unbridled level in cutbacks of nicotine inhalation throughout the young skateboard population of New York, and take all of the smoke upon himself, savings their lungs, but tarnishing his to levels beyond normal medical understanding.

26. Manhattan Bridge skatepark opens – 2006:
As the city decided it was necessary to provide skateboarders with a place to go by issuing them a rat infested square of asphalt under a leaky section of Ralph Modjeski’s 1909 creation — an alternate party emerged on the political plane of New York City’s tug-of-war happening between Tompkins Square Park and 12th & A for citywide dominance. For the latter portion of 2006, and half of 2007, the Manhattan Bridge Park took dominance over two parties who were far too entrenched in their on-going feud to pay attention to a third contender slowly surpassing them in relevancy. Luckily, the Manhattan Bridge Park’s control of the political spectrum only lasted for a year, and it has since been relegated to a Green Party equivalent that Isak Buan votes for.

25. Justin Timberlake films a portion of his “I’m Lovin’ It” video at the TF – 2003:

If there is ever a debate as to what year was the high-point of Tompkins Square Park’s relevancy, Justin Timberlake’s deliberate passage through the park while chasing a bird wearing an Iron Maiden shirt and a denim skirt in his “I’m Lovin’ It” video (and inclusion of a close-up on TF legend Danny Weiss’ face) should end all discussions. 2003 was certainly the high point.

24. The last epic Banks session – 2001:

A few weeks before the towers fell (and the rail got stolen), the Banks was a magical place. Jamie Thomas, the Muska himself and Jason Dill were all there, and every little kid giddy with the prospect of seeing 2/9 of the cast from Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater, and the soon-to-be minor celebrity from The Osbournes, had to have at least five of his friends back up his story when the day was recounted to others who were not present. Oh, and the Muska shouted out “YEAH DILL!” after Dill back 5050ed a police barrier from the platform of the ledge section. That was pretty sick too.

23. Mike Wright obtains two board sponsors at the same time — 2004:
While the widespread increase of skill that arose in fifteen-year-olds during the new decade made it all the more difficult to stand out as a talented individual on a skateboard, Mike Wright showed the world that board sponsor monogamy was an outdated notion. Riding for both Natural Koncept and Doh Doh Skateboards (yes, it was a board company for a few months while the Shorty’s imprint was experiencing a heavy-handed panic towards the latter end of the Muska’s tenure there), Mr. Wright proved that variety is the spice of life.

22. Brayden Szvgsavsyfferszki meets Tron Jenkins – 2008:
In direct conflict with the often exaggerated, cool-guy, rock star, not-giving-a-fuck attitude exemplified by Death Wish and friends, Brayden encountered a harsh reality check outside of a dingy East 5th Street and 2nd Avenue establishment when he forgot that he was no longer in that awful cesspool of cultural degradation know as Hollywood, Califonia by greeting a fellow teammate with the phrase, “What’s up nigger?”

“What the fuck did you say?” exclaimed Mr. Jenkins.

“Yo dude, my bad, I’m really sorry yo,” replied the shaken, dress-wearing degenerate with a look of concern distinctly nestled above the bat bellow his eyes.

“You can’t be fucking talking out here like that,” said Mr. Jenkins.

“I know man, my bad. Sorry, dude. Yo, what’s you name man? I’m Brayden.”

“I met you five minutes ago. Get the fuck out of my face.”

21. Diplomatic Immunity: Volume 1 is released – 2003:

This spearheaded east coast skating’s decade-spanning fascination with ironic rap. As previous editing jobs were tooled to the sounds of Wu-Tang (which maintained residency throughout the 2000s, but was hardly a modern phenomenon as nineties-era videos were equally favorable to the sounds of the Clan), generic rock songs, funk and mid-90s New York rap derived from obscure soul records, the release of this record signaled a turning point by which people previously seen as not in line with the given aesthetic churned out by the musicians at hand (Du-rags, sz 42 pants with gigantic bleach stains and guns painted on them, and 5xl white tees — yes, this was before Jimmy and Juelz hired Kanye’s stylist’s intern), began to utilize the music so they could giggle at how mismatched the pair was. Slim corduroys officially became friends with musical equivalent of icy whites, and maintained a sturdy relationship until all the rappers began dressing like skateboarders (or what they thought skateboarders dressed like) and Cam’ron began to sound complacent.

And while we’re at it, P. Rod should’ve skated to “Dipset Anthem” in Nothing But the Truth and not fucking Sonic Youth.